Work: Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns,... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 10:43 - United States

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 456

You deserved it 9 541

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Same thing different taste

By TimeForANewJob - 16/01/2017 17:47

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 723

Fate

By D-Man - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 614

You deserved it 4 208

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 17:00

Today, my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 142

By rhcpgurl - 23/07/2015 15:07 - United States - San Jose

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 831

You deserved it 2 664

High pressure environment

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 01:00 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 147

Brief break

By daddyowl - 25/05/2012 04:32 - Canada - Montreal

Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 3 023

Don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.

By Briana Bettis - 29/09/2019 22:00

Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 3 308

Can't turn it off

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 23:01

Today, I got a new job where one of my co-workers is someone I have been in love with for over 5 years now. She's married but my feelings for her just won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 779

By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 03:17 - United States

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 590

You deserved it 3 578

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 333

You deserved it 5 695

Next

Top comments

SerendipityRose 26

Thursday 17 January 2013 16:10

Love you too, honey... Yikes.

JustKittyKat 24

Thursday 17 January 2013 16:10

Well, someone doesn't get any celebratory cake and alcohol.

Comments

Xotoolyxo 16

Friday 18 January 2013 2:48

Aw well I hope you got the job, keep your head up OP

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 18 January 2013 3:06

Does your wife work? If not, she's a lazy gold-digger who wants to sit on her lazy ass while you do all the work. Unless she does the housework, in which case she still should be supportive, especially since she isn't bringing in an income.

katt_is_here 24

Saturday 19 January 2013 3:44

That's a hell of a leap there. Seems you've got some unresolved lady issues of your own.

samasara 20

Friday 18 January 2013 3:21

it's.... something .....

BellaFurfaro 12

Friday 18 January 2013 3:26

I'm sure she was saying it for the best.

dawnet 5

Friday 18 January 2013 3:52

is she wrong? xD

kyle_27 6

Friday 18 January 2013 3:59

Lol good woman !(:

jsanchez89 5

Friday 18 January 2013 15:10

He's lucky to have her!!!

skylersilcon 3

Friday 18 January 2013 4:37

I would listen to the wife.

buckdharma 36

Friday 18 January 2013 6:06

You have the right to remain silent...

Rogerrr57 21

Friday 18 January 2013 6:20

It's a good advice, really

akiahara 14

Friday 18 January 2013 6:39

She just might be on to something there...

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The Top

Today, I had to go to the local UPS store to sign for a package with providing I.D. shipped to me. I had no idea who had sent the package. After signing for the package, I opened it and saw that I had signed for an empty package. I actually paid for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 301

Today, I'd gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said, "Your phone's been buzzing." I had a text saying, "You're grounded" from my Dad. My "Take your birth control" had been going off for a half an hour while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 057

You deserved it 31 889

The Top

Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 455

You deserved it 1 102

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 346

You deserved it 1 735

Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 089

You deserved it 1 671

Today, my husband is going on his fifth consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom, and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 315

You deserved it 397

Today, the girl I hired and trained took my director's position. She's not even been there a month. I didn't do anything to lose it, they just decided she was more qualified. At least I was good at picking employees I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 124

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 785

You deserved it 9 332