Work: Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns,... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 10:43 - United States

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 456

You deserved it 9 541

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Same thing different taste

By TimeForANewJob - 16/01/2017 17:47

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 723

Fate

By D-Man - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 614

You deserved it 4 208

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 17:00

Today, my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 142

By rhcpgurl - 23/07/2015 15:07 - United States - San Jose

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 831

You deserved it 2 664

High pressure environment

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 01:00 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 147

Brief break

By daddyowl - 25/05/2012 04:32 - Canada - Montreal

Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 3 023

Don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.

By Briana Bettis - 29/09/2019 22:00

Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 3 308

Can't turn it off

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 23:01

Today, I got a new job where one of my co-workers is someone I have been in love with for over 5 years now. She's married but my feelings for her just won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 779

By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 03:17 - United States

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 590

You deserved it 3 578

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 333

You deserved it 5 695

Next

Top comments

SerendipityRose 26

Thursday 17 January 2013 16:10

Love you too, honey... Yikes.

JustKittyKat 24

Thursday 17 January 2013 16:10

Well, someone doesn't get any celebratory cake and alcohol.

Comments

carcar54 1

Friday 18 January 2013 17:04

Well how much have you f'd up before? These comments don't come out of nowhere!

xmaximusx 12

Friday 18 January 2013 18:23

You should have divorced her while you were broke and down my friend

katt_is_here 24

Saturday 19 January 2013 3:42

Context is needed prior to my decision on whether you deserved this or not. How did you lose your last job? If you got fired for being an idiot, YDI. If it was not your fault (truly not your fault,) YLS.

mcholl 7

Saturday 19 January 2013 15:05

You must be talking about my wife! I just wonder how she's traveling between our houses so quickly.

Rhondaplp 11

Monday 5 August 2013 4:15

Your wife has a point

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The Top

Today, I told my long-distance partner that I wanted to take them on a date to the aquarium next time they're in town. They said, "That would be my first date ever!" When I asked about when we went to the zoo and dinner last week, they said it was, "the closest thing to a date" they'd had. Apparently, we're actually just friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 253

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 months told me he doesn't know how he feels about me because he's not excited when we meet and doesn't miss me when we don't text for a while. He decided to tell me this while we were laying in bed right after having sex for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 204

You deserved it 1 225

The Top

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 319

You deserved it 2 576

Today, a senior girl in my college-level biology course asked our professor what periods are like when you’re pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 187

Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 218

Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 147

Today, I woke up, walked outside, and tripped over my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 496

You deserved it 383

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 3 598