Intimacy: Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had...

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 981

You deserved it 6 009

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 616

You deserved it 8 230

By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 050

You deserved it 13 457

God laughs

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 08:17 - United States

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 330

You deserved it 15 408

Disappointed

By WhatALetdown - 25/11/2015 00:26 - United States - Danbury

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 642

You deserved it 5 533

Freudian

By giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock - 19/12/2014 23:14 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 124

You deserved it 4 655

The man don't give a ****

By Nachos4lifs - 08/11/2019 01:00

Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 748

You deserved it 478

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 4 027

By Ryan - 11/06/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 296

You deserved it 7 471

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 4 495

By Grace - 17/10/2018 03:00

Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 1 375

Whytetrash 21

Monday 18 February 2013 2:40

Those are some serious self-esteem issues you have there.

kingsian 15

Monday 18 February 2013 2:42

At least it was a dream and not reality. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Comments

mndlz 6

Wednesday 20 February 2013 3:06

At least you had sex..... I always wake up just before I get laid in dreams. Perhaps I need help LOL !

HomoIndomitus 4

Wednesday 20 February 2013 6:18

Guess you need practice.

Albarufus 13

Saturday 23 February 2013 20:40

Haha I feel your pain! I use condoms in my sex dreams xD

janro72 10

Friday 1 March 2013 5:09

well he did have a dick, RIGHT?

justkush 0

Tuesday 21 May 2013 5:20

Sweetie, go to a bar and get laid

kingjanic 1

Friday 14 June 2013 5:36

Same thing happens to me all the time!(although a little differently because i'm a guy)

stavik96 0

Saturday 7 September 2013 13:02

I've dreamed I fisted a hot woman, had sex with a ugly woman on some big rocks by the sea and having sex with a girl my age in my bed when my sister came in. I hate how my dreams never turn out well.