Miscellaneous: Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt... - FML

By AmericanDream - 01/12/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 260

You deserved it 3 836

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 127

You deserved it 21 762

By Karaline45 - 15/12/2018 05:00

Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 641

You deserved it 370

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 20 961

By dating a big bag of dicks - 13/05/2014 21:02 - United States

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 494

You deserved it 9 210

By JulieClaire - 11/03/2011 01:44

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 4 810

Definitely memorable

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 827

You deserved it 55 001

Bye bye Bambi

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 19:59

Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 130

By anonymous - 28/12/2016 05:07 - United States

Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 583

You deserved it 1 001

Bad timing

By J…… - 12/05/2020 17:00

Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 466

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

By SugarCoat - 08/06/2017 18:00

Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 745

You deserved it 635

Next

Top comments

sidkid008 0

Thursday 1 December 2011 11:58

Welcome to America!

ScaughtieHolden 11

Thursday 1 December 2011 11:57

Now you can try venison.

Comments

ZombieK1ll4 8

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:46

Get out of America.

1Kiki_babe1 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 6:20

It happens. Don't worry, if you're in the right area, you'll see plenty more.

TomHarrow 5

Friday 13 January 2012 21:22

y the hell would you wanna move here?!

Night777 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:50

#215 your right why the HELL would you wan to move here?!?! The united states is considered one if the worst countries the only big difference with us is we aren't war torn but I live here and I can honestly say I want to move to Russia

Night777 4

Wednesday 22 August 2012 18:47

Majestic???? If deer are majestic then why do we hunt them? Ik they taste amazing but I just can't call a deer majestic they taste to damn delicious

BVBARMY1238 9

Friday 30 November 2012 22:10

you are amazing. Your grammar is better than an American, who lived there their whole life.

coolkitty154 11

Friday 12 April 2013 0:01

Well, your grammar is horrid, unfortunately.

BVBARMY1238 9

Friday 14 December 2012 3:06

1. Your username fits the FML itself and 2. You have better grammar then most Americans on here!

pheonix_flash 7

Friday 4 January 2013 21:55

Meh... Just a deer...

Grauncho 27

Monday 14 January 2013 8:00

That's pretty much a rite of passage here. Welcome to America.

JamieLT 22

Sunday 3 March 2013 22:56

Aw

XxQuartersxX 14

Friday 11 October 2013 14:14

Welcome to America! You should have gone somewhere else.

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The Top

Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 367

Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 136

The Top

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 942

You deserved it 43 271

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 333

You deserved it 33 562

Today, I told my roommate she had to pay $55 to replace a piece of the oven she broke. She told me I was being selfish and decided to illegally break our lease because I was, "making her feel unsafe." Now I not only have to pay for the oven repair, I also have to pay her next two month's rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 277

You deserved it 197

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 209

You deserved it 3 325

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 430

You deserved it 1 966

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 693

You deserved it 48 690