Kids: Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke...

By ash - 14/01/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 16 139

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 041

You deserved it 3 381

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 2 811

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 231

You deserved it 1 922

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 18 442

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 409

You deserved it 3 899

By gabxoxo03 - 10/06/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 971

You deserved it 52 775

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 22:00

Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 844

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 9 083

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 104

You deserved it 4 719

aback 4

Friday 14 January 2011 23:24

Kid's lucky you're not one of those who wake up swinging. Buy her something nice and give her a big hug as an apology.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Friday 14 January 2011 23:31

You never know if she was trying to sneak attack you. I salute you for being on your guard even in the midst of sleep!

Comments

Tha_Jocka44 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 7:20

was the kid lips messed up or are you shape challenged?

likeaboss007 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 7:21

I wish that kid had clawed ur face and hide nuts in ut hollowed out cheeks. SQUIRREL MONKEEEY (the dish rocks)

fml98kevin 4

Saturday 15 January 2011 7:22

id say YDI but u didnt know it wuz her...

samicna 4

Saturday 15 January 2011 8:20

well you just scarred a baby for life you suck! I would of beat the crap out of you for hitting my baby sister!

becann 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 9:00

all the people calling the OP a jerk, asshole, ruining a kid's life etc...seriously get over yourselves, its a totally normal reaction to being woken by something you don't recognise. I've kicked my cat off me more times than I can count and she still loves me. The kid will get over it, she's 3 she'll forget it soon enough.

morganavery33 5

Saturday 15 January 2011 9:00

ha. that sucks. :)

saleha97 4

Saturday 15 January 2011 11:08

ahahahaha! i seriously cant stop laughing!

DaniPickles 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 11:51

Aww); BABY ABUSER

sadaffy 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 13:04

aaaaaa ur such a bitch :( poor thing :/

ilovefall10 21

Saturday 15 January 2011 15:07

how was OP suppose to know what it was!? if your half asleep and you feel something touching you and you don't know what it is , it's normal to want to get it off you and slap it away! who knows , it could of been a spider or drop a water.. better safe then sorry. i mean am not saying i don't feel bad about the little girl.. but come on! it's not like it's gonna ruin her life or anything.