Kids: Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke...

By ash - 14/01/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 16 139

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Same thing different taste

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 041

You deserved it 3 381

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 2 811

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 231

You deserved it 1 922

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 18 442

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 409

You deserved it 3 899

By gabxoxo03 - 10/06/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 971

You deserved it 52 775

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 22:00

Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 844

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 9 083

Sleep demon

By good big sister? - 02/07/2013 17:39 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 104

You deserved it 4 719

aback 4

Friday 14 January 2011 23:24

Kid's lucky you're not one of those who wake up swinging. Buy her something nice and give her a big hug as an apology.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Friday 14 January 2011 23:31

You never know if she was trying to sneak attack you. I salute you for being on your guard even in the midst of sleep!

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 15 January 2011 2:43

I felt something on my cheek once and slapped it away from me. Except I realized it was a huge wolf spider and not a toddler.

missfmylife101 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 2:46

hahahahahahahhgahahahaha I'm dying lmao !!!

xGraycloud 4

Saturday 15 January 2011 2:50

such a bitch.

sikkar 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:07

You will burn in hell for this!!!

DakotaCat 4

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:31

Aww.. Is her name by any chance Remora?

MaddaCheeb 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 3:47

you asshole

Blake4477 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 4:36

You should feel terrible!!! Poor baby was just trying to be sweet!!! Hope you bought her something nice in return, if not you suck as a human being!!!