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I was going to "Agree, your life sucks", but when I saw the count was 1337 I decided not to. As a lifelong gamer, I cannot commit to such blasphemy as destroying such an appropriate count.
Put hair removal on soap?
Brilliant! No faults in that plan.
So what you are gonna want to do is sneak into the roommates room when they are sleeping, tie a tiny string onto every hair on their body, and yank out all of their hair at once. The expression on their face would be priceless (yes, I did completely steal this idea from ask a ninja).
How long do you let your shampoo soak on your head? Most hair removers need at least five minutes to do anything, so unless you let the shampoo on your head for longer than that it shouldn't even have been noticeable.
Set the bastard aflame.
Keywords
Shave his eyebrows in his sleep
I'm sorry to hair that, but it sounds like they shaved you some time.