Intimacy: Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the...

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:52 - United States

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 859

You deserved it 27 910

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Same thing different taste

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 567

You deserved it 6 832

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

By MissCan'tKeepAJob - 23/08/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 126

You deserved it 57 585

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 519

You deserved it 4 038

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 244

You deserved it 9 045

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 604

By ps3isbetterthanme - 11/12/2009 16:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 927

You deserved it 4 329

Crazy nights

By Ugh... - 20/07/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 10 079

By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 336

You deserved it 19 977

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 457

You deserved it 6 328

livewire1701 8

Saturday 15 January 2011 12:11

Undoing someones pants while they're asleep isn't romantic. He's a guy you could have just woken him up and told him you were horny.

rockhound 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 12:10

It was a knee-jerk reaction. It happens to the best of us.

Comments

agigantorllama 0

Monday 24 January 2011 6:25

You were 70% Complete

Musickal 16

Friday 18 March 2011 11:32

Horny =/= Romantic.

ohmandapants 16

Sunday 17 April 2011 17:23

that's not feeling romantic, that's feeling horny.

michael256341859 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 17:33

u can undo my pants give me a call 2563418590

Jeffo193 13

Tuesday 27 March 2012 12:04

sucking dick, how romantic.

restl3ss 6

Friday 10 August 2012 22:30

Well I'm not sure about others but if I wake up to something / someone doing something to me that wasn't there when i fell asleep its my automatic reaction to attack it before I'm even fully awake, it's not even a good idea to try to wake me up by physically pushing me or something unless said person wants a shot in the face. It's not like I intend to do it it's automatic. I'm not the only one who's like that either, it's quite common, be careful next time

haphazardly 15

Thursday 19 November 2015 3:53

The way to a man is through his stomach. I would've put as many slices of cheese on his face as I could before he woke up.

hunt3009 16

Sunday 14 August 2016 19:28

Honestly, I would have been one of the people who would've slapped their girlfriend for it if only out of pure reflex- cause I'd be worried it was someone else.