Intimacy: Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever...

By hjgjh - 27/04/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 596

You deserved it 23 398

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 212

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 4 171

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 597

You deserved it 22 043

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 3 264

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 2 519

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 834

You deserved it 610

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 4 987

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 516

Jaws

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 07:00 - Philippines - Cebu City

Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 98

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 4 865

quantumoftruth 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:05

did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard

ZiggyMorrison 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:04

hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?

Comments

minatosexy 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 9:10

How old r u?

Ilikethenamesam 3

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:04

What were you doing rubbing your penis on the ground!?!?

Sleventeen 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 14:07

deep throat from an insect. haha well if the shoe fits...

sanchezjaz94 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 5:47

playing around naked lol?

markiesharkie 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 5:49

I personally wont ever suck a dick because it's nasty

MurderTramp 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 0:21

dont knock it till you try it

KeiIshiyama 10

Friday 2 September 2011 17:50

And you deserve it for expecting someone to put that disgusting thing in their mouth. I pressed FYL because you got bit. If you were expecting a Blo-Jo, then you better think again.