Work: Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion....

By sabz21 - 27/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Naugatuck

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 145

You deserved it 14 283

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By zyordz - 27/06/2009 04:12 - Peru

Today, I was working at a soup kitchen with people from my church. Seeing a rather disheveled couple, I told them the line started "over there". Only then did I realize that they were from my church, and were there to help serve soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 834

You deserved it 41 188

Classic blunder

By churchman - 28/06/2021 00:01 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 795

By BlueMacaw - 25/07/2016 14:38 - United States - Edmond

Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 669

You deserved it 2 165

Dirty girl

By Alyssa - 28/08/2019 04:00 - United States - Macon

Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 241

By Michigan - 05/02/2009 01:18 - United States

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 4 874

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 154

Period drama

By Kate - 24/08/2023 08:00

Today, I was an altar server at my Catholic church. I wore a long white robe and at the end of Mass, I grabbed my candle and bowed to the altar. I turned around and started walking down the aisle. The woman behind me came up quickly to tell me I had bled through my robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 02:16 - United States

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 273

You deserved it 5 378

Praise

By Jesusman - 08/12/2018 14:00

Today, as I helped my boss set up catering at our café, she was stressing about having enough time for everything when the DJ chimed in with, "Why don't you ask him to help?" It got awkwardly quiet as they looked at me and he realized I was a girl. Then he tried saying, "By him, I mean Jesus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 867

You deserved it 289

Social situations make me nervous

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 12:00

Today, someone handed me a drink at a wedding, so I awkwardly took a sip and commented on the taste. It turns out they were just trying to “Cheers!” me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 249

BrotherTheo 31

Monday 27 January 2014 16:25

The force will be with you, always.....

olpally 32

Monday 27 January 2014 16:25

That's freaking awesome! Strong with the force you are! Hahaha :)

Comments

kohrman12 4

Friday 31 January 2014 4:31

That is the best thing I have ever heard!!!

mlto17 3

Sunday 2 February 2014 8:20

That's pretty awesome actually!

jullestrann 12

Tuesday 4 February 2014 7:41

I would've been slow enough to say "amen".

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Saturday 8 February 2014 7:20

Sounds like a church I'd want to attend!

SwaggyMcGnarly 3

Tuesday 11 February 2014 7:26

You are my favorite person!

Lovable_Hated 2

Friday 14 February 2014 3:29

Lol wtf. Hahah

darkfireflame 15

Saturday 15 February 2014 15:55

Hahaha I'd go back to church if they blessed me with that.

BeachGirl27 23

Friday 11 July 2014 10:20

Now there's a blessing I'd like to receive! Did you cover your butt by saying you were of course referring to the force of the holy spirit? LOL!

lokar_ogar 11

Friday 30 January 2015 20:25

Shows how those people were just brainwashed followers.

stormfyre 13

Tuesday 3 March 2015 5:45

**** religion. Sorry just had to say it. Jk not sorry.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 83

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 902

You deserved it 3 049

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 083

You deserved it 19 794

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 372

You deserved it 3 605

Today, I was feeling super nervous about driving because I had my first accident the day before. As I stopped at a red light, I got rear-ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 720

You deserved it 2 615

Today, my grandfather called me for the first time since lockdown. Just like the last 3 times we spoke, he tried to pressure me into learning to drive, despite my making it clear that it absolutely terrifies me. He won't stop asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 753

Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy who works with me, and for whom I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until, in the heat of the moment, my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 180