Love: Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't... - FML

By Bouh - 27/12/2012 04:04 - France - Paris

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 49

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Top comments

vespergreen 17

Thursday 27 December 2012 12:08

Your husband is an idiot.

sirpantselot 22

Thursday 27 December 2012 12:08

Sounds like you've already got one.

Comments

Prometheus_303 3

Tuesday 12 August 2014 15:23

i couldnt stop thinking of the family guy episode where Stewie's semen, in a fighter plane & blasting the hell out of the jets

GnaR_KiLL5150 12

Saturday 18 October 2014 15:11

I feel like I don't have enough information on the topic to argue it, it honestly sounds a little legit though

Mitchitivity 6

Sunday 7 June 2015 17:56

I really don't understand all of the idiot comments, seems like sounds logic to me. Untrue of course but not the dumbest things I've heard people say not even close lol

Unlucky1232 20

Wednesday 24 February 2016 4:10

no... infact really he increasing is own risk of prostate cancer by 20 % and thats about it.

d3vil666 6

Saturday 26 March 2016 10:42

Hay be lucky he's just dumb at least he isn't cheating

qwertyasdf12345 4

Wednesday 20 April 2016 0:42

Please do not have children with him. Anyone stupid enough to actually believe that will only bring us closer to making the movie 'Idiocracy' a documentary.

kenyrabit 25

Tuesday 13 December 2016 3:37

He makes a point. A wrong point, but a good argument; I'm believing it. Go Warrior-Dad

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The Top

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 444

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

The Top

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 6 855

Today, it's been a few days since our neighbour died. For the last 30 years, he and my husband have hated each other and disagreed on everything, no matter the subject, they would be on opposite sides of it. My husband is crying because they were best friends and he misses him. They loved to hate each other I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 111

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 3 892

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 12 664

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 034

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 418

You deserved it 9 238