Miscellaneous: Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border...

By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 421

You deserved it 4 790

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Same thing different taste

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 572

You deserved it 49 770

Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 12 664

By search_me - 16/07/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 976

You deserved it 3 322

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

By Victoria - 21/10/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 842

You deserved it 48 341

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 563

You deserved it 4 755

By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Poquoson

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 390

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 060

You deserved it 8 050

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 562

You deserved it 10 548

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 539

You deserved it 6 398

_DudeGuy_ 16

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:45

That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)

IronMan3758 4

Saturday 15 June 2013 15:50

That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"

Comments

fakedsincerity 32

Saturday 15 June 2013 17:35

So you mean you assumed she was thinking that. Projection.

fakedsincerity 32

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:03

Damn edited fml.

ballbearing 10

Saturday 15 June 2013 18:38

Your lucky they didn't arrest you for prostitution. Apparently, carrying condoms can be used as proof of prostitution now.

aeonsoul 12

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:23

What, who says? Works cited? Please

aeonsoul 12

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:24

*oops meant to say: what, who says? Works cited, please

BrotherPhil 35

Sunday 16 June 2013 2:19

boingboing.net/2013/03/08/nypd-will-arrest-you-for-carry.html ipsnorthamerica.net/news.php?idnews=4293 www.jiasociety.org/index.php/jias/article/download/18626/3005

yscpunkchick 14

Saturday 15 June 2013 18:51

Those women that work border crossings are such smug bitches. I know they're "just doing their job" but, jeez... you don't have to be such ***** about it.

Yelement 7

Saturday 15 June 2013 18:55

Border agents are the worst. Assholes and you can't say anything back or else they will ban you from the country or year apart your car/search you in depth. Complain to their superior and they will never agree with you

dawnalexis1 3

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:24

Am I the only one who is confused if this is a female with a condom in her purse or a male with condoms who carries a purse?

remiiiii_fml 5

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:29

women can carry condoms in case the guy doesn't have one!

dawnalexis1 3

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:34

Oh I know but if this is a man he's saying she searched his purse…

ShakeDisPlace 10

Saturday 15 June 2013 19:31

Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex.

jonha21 11

Saturday 15 June 2013 20:06

Haha With Who?

buckdharma 36

Saturday 15 June 2013 20:38

Cops are trained to notice details, like your condom expired in 1957.

B0nb0N09 12

Sunday 16 June 2013 5:06

Hah

aeonsoul 12

Saturday 15 June 2013 21:21

Say you actually started off with 3 condoms that week ;)

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 15 June 2013 22:19

Since you said purse, I assume you're a female. In which case, technically YOU wouldn't need the condom, but the guy you might end up sleeping with. :p But still, she didn't have to be a bitch about it.

tj4234 35

Saturday 15 June 2013 22:45

in some places, purse and a wallet are used interchangeably. And in some languages, they are both the same word. It could be that OP speaks one of those languages, and for ease just uses one word in English for both. That and there is the fact that a wallet, is just a purse. It's a synonym.