Intimacy: Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend... - FML

By desocrates - 20/06/2009 22:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 661

You deserved it 4 062

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Same thing different taste

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 613

You deserved it 2 886

By screewit - 20/02/2009 23:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 749

You deserved it 4 967

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 12 785

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 210

You deserved it 4 580

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 657

You deserved it 4 568

By Aus - 26/04/2012 14:43 - United States

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 012

You deserved it 4 202

By feelthelove - 02/11/2009 18:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 5 613

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 381

You deserved it 4 326

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 357

You deserved it 5 594

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 5 819

Next

Top comments

SweetieLish 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:02

Forward the text to her when she's sober...I bet she'll be regretting THAT text message!

plexico 3

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:03

You must have a very long penis. Congratulations.

Comments

xFenix81x 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 22:31

Congrats! Your girlfriend is a *****!

bagpipendude 0

Monday 22 June 2009 0:34

LUCY! You got some 'splainin' to do!

chucktlr 0

Monday 22 June 2009 1:22

F your girlfriend that freakin *****

AZballin 0

Monday 22 June 2009 3:37

wow. that really sucks. epic failure

vioh 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:13

... your girlfriend makes me ashamed to be a female :S.. ydi for letting your gf get drunk while you went out of town tho..

kcid 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 17:19

so, this guy deserved it by having a GF that cheats.. hmm and then, deserved it more for 'allowing her to get drunk while you are out of town" Where the hell are these people from? DUMP HER, GO OUT AND GET LAID, and HAVE A BEER. She's not worth the headache.

platypuscatrat 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:22

YDI for not killing your girlfriend 4 days ago.

clappy5 0

Monday 22 June 2009 16:07

NOT cool ahaha

cossackkid01 0

Monday 22 June 2009 21:26

You MUST rodeo **** this bitch. Then show her the text. Then leave. Problem solved.

iEATdreamsx 0

Friday 26 June 2009 2:47

that sucks. that's all that i have to say.

WeirdDays 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:11

damn, FYL

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 24

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You deserved it 1 748

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You deserved it 11 370

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I agree, your life sucks 36 266

You deserved it 3 431

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I agree, your life sucks 38 364

You deserved it 2 625

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 139

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed, "Tell him 'Happy Birthday' from me!" and as I pressed send, I remembered her dad was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 409

You deserved it 46 704