Intimacy: Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend...

By desocrates - 20/06/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 661

You deserved it 4 062

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Same thing different taste

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 613

You deserved it 2 886

By screewit - 20/02/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 749

You deserved it 4 967

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 12 785

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 210

You deserved it 4 580

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 657

You deserved it 4 568

By Aus - 26/04/2012 14:43 - United States

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 012

You deserved it 4 202

By feelthelove - 02/11/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 5 613

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 381

You deserved it 4 326

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 357

You deserved it 5 594

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 5 819

SweetieLish 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:02

Forward the text to her when she's sober...I bet she'll be regretting THAT text message!

plexico 3

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:03

You must have a very long penis. Congratulations.

Comments

cpatrick820 3

Sunday 21 June 2009 4:22

**** cheaters. They can all **** each other until they become one pile of VD ridden wastes of flesh Harsh?

naja_12168 3

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:52

Not at all, LOL! Too funny!

Fd4Lyfe 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 4:29

lol, maybe your just that good that she still feels it from 3 days ago

Silver_Lion 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 4:34

wow, you're life sucks man

YouSoDeservedIt 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:30

I expect that sort of thing from Americans. I'm disappointed to see that "your" from Canada. http://web.uvic.ca/wguide/Pages/UsYour.html

AndelleRae 9

Sunday 21 June 2009 6:21

Sadly, stupidity is universal. To the OP, it sucks to be cheated on. The best thing you can do is dump her and try and find someone who won't cheat on you.

Silver_Lion 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 7:00

whoopsies =P

taden 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 4:39

maybe when you were talking to her she was masturbating........maybe she was talking about phone sex lmao

roguevougette 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 4:45

honestly dude, if she was drunk she likely had no idea of what time it was or the day, so she may not have done anything dishonest.

aweeks 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 4:48

Glad it didn't happen to me.

FarSide 22

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:07

Send this reply to her text:: "Baby, I can't imagine a better lover or sex partner than you. You continously take me to new heights. Faithfully yours, desocrates. P.S.: Bitch."

Natashakiable18 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:07

how is this an fml? =/ seriously? the fml stories are just falling apart now, it's as if people are just posting up random things that aren't even fml stories =/

quackquackquac 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 5:34

I think it's an FML because the OP was out of town for three days, and couldn't possibly have had sex with his girlfriend last night... therefore, she cheated on him, making this an FML.