Animals: Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of...

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 190

You deserved it 4 384

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Same thing different taste

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Lolabunny - 21/08/2018 04:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 354

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 47 764

Delusional

By fmlifetime - 24/10/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 641

You deserved it 14 911

By cganon - 21/09/2010 12:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 684

You deserved it 5 029

By UglyGirl - 08/11/2015 09:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 361

You deserved it 1 947

By Anonymous - 31/12/2011 06:21 - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 864

You deserved it 7 312

That makes sense

By HistoryHasEyes - 04/09/2020 23:01

Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 121

Adulting is tough

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 531

By Anonymous - 10/03/2011 22:28 - United States

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 267

You deserved it 9 663

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 065

You deserved it 3 116

winsmithy 3

Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:08

well, at least she didn't ask you if you wanted condoms.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:07

Did you also pick up some orangs, gr-apes, and potato chimps?

Comments

melbadelb 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 7:11

I'm with a lot of people . why is this an fml? sounds like your mom is awesome and has a good sense of humor. lighten up and don't be such a Debbie downer !!!

daiissyyy 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 7:29

lmao your mom is pretty funny mann! i would be embarassed aswell!

Luckysam1984 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 7:36

Your mom is awesome. This is not a fml. At least you have a mom.

robbrown56 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 7:52

I would have turned to the nearest bypasser and said,''Don't be alarmed! Her meds will kick in in a few minuets!''

DakotaCat 4

Tuesday 18 January 2011 7:56

I guess that makes you a monkey's uncle?

HooverBoy 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 8:13

a funny retarted mum, no offence ;]p

JanisEvans 10

Tuesday 18 January 2011 9:29

Your mom sounds cute. Wanna swap her for my abusive sociopath of a mother?

Beaniebabima 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 9:42

that ***** B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Ahhh gwen stefani your song pertains to a fml. How ah-may-zing!!!!

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 18 January 2011 9:56

That shit is bananas.

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 18 January 2011 9:58

Oops Guess I shoulda scrolled first!

Bawxy 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 10:14

She left herself open for such a lewd joke... Actually, she left herself open for multiple lewd jokes. It almost pains me that I wasn't blessed with the opportunity to pass by at that moment.