Animals: Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it...

By halliemarie1818 - 24/04/2013 02:01 - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 523

You deserved it 4 671

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Same thing different taste

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

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You deserved it 837

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

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You deserved it 7 400

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 05:06 - United States - Miami

Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 776

You deserved it 1 686

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

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You deserved it 7 088

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

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You deserved it 5 708

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

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You deserved it 1 779

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 426

You deserved it 3 346

Ever Given

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 20:00 - United States - Elverson

Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML

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You deserved it 309

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 07:27 - South Africa

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 097

You deserved it 6 209

By poomaster - 22/11/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 812

You deserved it 5 169

iLike2Teabag 27

Wednesday 24 April 2013 11:10

You out that cow through a lot. Talk about tearing it a new one...

Jakeymd 9

Wednesday 24 April 2013 11:11

No one deserves to experience that. FYL (was it like opening a can of coke that had been shook?)

Comments

kitcatsheart 2

Wednesday 24 April 2013 15:08

I actually made an account just to detest this fml. I'm a veterinarian and for those who don't know, you can't just "cut out" a new "butt hole" if an animal is born without an Anus. The calf would need reconstructive surgery to create a functional opening that attaches to the rectum. Also unless the calf was purchased on the day it was born (and I'm assuming it was not) then the calf would have gone septic without being able to defecate and would be deceased without immediate care. So I highly highly doubt that this fml is anywhere near true.

JDCH_99 10

Wednesday 24 April 2013 15:18

It happens occasionally to people too. One if my cousins had it done when he was a newborn. He's in his 30s now and it's caused him a lot of problems and embarrassment over his life.