Work: Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered,...

By wtffireworks! - 26/05/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 215

You deserved it 18 525

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By HumanNature - 01/02/2009 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 042

You deserved it 3 231

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 111

You deserved it 103

Don't dick around with those guys

By Cuntface McGee - 21/02/2014 21:37 - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 904

You deserved it 18 617

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 166

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 526

You deserved it 4 945

Nice neighborhood

By dinkley7 - 25/04/2021 02:00

Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 683

You deserved it 4 014

Busted

By DuckMan - 07/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 2 676

By yodada - 10/03/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 522

You deserved it 4 856

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 14:13 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 441

You deserved it 31 034

marinus_fml 19

Thursday 26 May 2011 8:44

Damn right they do.

Natalie403 6

Thursday 26 May 2011 8:44

Stereotypes xD

Comments

Taurusbaybe 8

Thursday 26 May 2011 9:34

Stereotypes suck, but fire works are fun :).

tnlander 20

Thursday 26 May 2011 9:35

Ponytails are for gay **** actors and Chuck Norris and you're not Chuck Norris.

hannahfmlt2 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 11:59

shut up my dad has a pony tail u jack ass

cwmbear 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 9:40

Ponytail? COOL, dude.

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Thursday 26 May 2011 11:19

pretty sure that is discrimination.

ILoveTabz 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 11:35

haha they kinda do though :P

mattxhavoc 2

Thursday 26 May 2011 11:38

I don't really see how this is an FML. If you didn't do it, big deal.

mexicotoucher 7

Thursday 26 May 2011 11:59

pretend to have a nervous breakdown.

lifeisabitchandy 2

Thursday 26 May 2011 12:50

Never trust a man with a pony tail

frogger0730 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 13:47

ponytails on me also look gay

khaya 9

Thursday 26 May 2011 13:59

Well you were missing half of your ponytail, and it had burn marks. Either you did it, or you are into some freaky sex stuff.

laden_swallow09 34

Thursday 26 May 2011 15:51

Trollololol

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The Top

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "Does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 033

You deserved it 3 928

Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 294

The Top

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 481

You deserved it 9 823

Today, I visited my brother, and noticed that my 17 year-old nephew was being unusually cold and grumpy; a sign that he's having sensory overload. Because his parents are so loud, I knew they were responsible. When I confronted them, they responded by yelling at me and grounding him. Sorry, nephew, I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 178

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 636

You deserved it 4 648

Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 672

You deserved it 2 646

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 465

You deserved it 2 716

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 3 152