Intimacy: Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles....

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 156

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Same thing different taste

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By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 7 399

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 404

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 602

You deserved it 6 222

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 851

You deserved it 18 701

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 422

You deserved it 9 211

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 112

You deserved it 22 198

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 011

You deserved it 1 791

Mr25_fml 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:54

come prepared

LeoF_fml 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:55

Haha, too big of a load to handle?

Comments

GasMaskKid13 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:01

Safety first!

Urbanchiller 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:14

Yup, just like your picture, who are YOU blowing?

ikickgingers 15

Saturday 26 November 2011 21:26

^^^ lolol

Daboomboom 9

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:01

Did she have bomb gear too? Thar he blows!

Jimster1712 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 4:36

HURHURHUR

mk58 31

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:02

She knows she's going to make you explode when you cum, so she's trying to protect her eyes. She always thinks ahead, doesn't she?

chickenwalrus 14

Saturday 26 November 2011 21:50

yep, he always thinks adickhead.

witchdoctor1 9

Sunday 27 November 2011 0:25

I c what u did there :P

Dark_Angel003 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:03

Better safe than sorry!

astrozombi86 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:03

She's doing it wrong

amrik 11

Saturday 26 November 2011 22:12

Doesn't matter, had sex

JustinComments 3

Saturday 26 November 2011 23:05

But I cried the whole time?

HeyLookJesus 11

Sunday 27 November 2011 6:41

So incredibly right*

ukrage 1

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:36

Still counts!

Garytt 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:03

Kinky

trg568 7

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:04

thats awesome

Joshawott 21

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:04

At least she's wearing protection.

Urbanchiller 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:06

swallow is not on her menu?

Steven696 6

Sunday 27 November 2011 0:42

I hate swallowing with my eyes too...

AvikC818 8

Saturday 26 November 2011 19:06

Your girlfriend must give amazing head

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Miscellaneous Haircut Cute Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Sex Intimacy Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 1 412

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 493

The Top

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 257

You deserved it 17 484

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 968

You deserved it 3 630

Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 267

You deserved it 32 418

Today, my husband is adamant he's not a cheater, because, "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free." Apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 024

You deserved it 228

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 167

You deserved it 6 360

Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 869

You deserved it 378

Same thing different taste

Hidden

Timing

Stuff

Repetitive

Double-edged sword

John Coltrane

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