Work: Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which... - FML

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 5 287

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 109

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 389

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 204

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 260

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 272

You deserved it 6 679

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 640

You deserved it 4 002

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 834

By grant b - 09/06/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 6 092

By someone euthanize me - 16/01/2016 08:17

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 880

You deserved it 8 044

By annoyedgirl - 04/05/2013 01:30 - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 528

You deserved it 4 731

Next

Top comments

Micayla 12

Tuesday 8 October 2013 8:55

Hey, it'll be some type of experience to put down on your resume! Props to you though, I got hit with a paintball once and it hurt like hell!

purebliss_fml 19

Tuesday 8 October 2013 8:57

A job's a job! At least you're not a hooker, if that makes you feel any better...

Comments

Soninuva 41

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:07

I want to know what place this is! Are you a living target at some kind of paintball range?

Brutaldollie 3

Saturday 12 October 2013 4:27

in seaside by me they have this. they just run around and you shoot them.

Soninuva 41

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:19

Ah, I always forget how masochistic you are, perdix!

bobak_can_ani 7

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:20

Chin up. At least you maintained your pride and didn't beg or prostitute. You'll get a better job soon.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 8 October 2013 16:24

Chin up gets you a paintball in the throat.

eddeeezzyy 19

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:26

This reminds me of this one picture I saw in which this guy held up a sign that said: Kick me in the balls for $20

mustabee 5

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:35

hahahahahahahahahhahahahhaha, im sorry, anyway hope you dont have small balls, aparently, the smaller they are, the more painfull (Agax, 2013). Anyway, we got to do what we gota do, make the best out of it

drewflav 17

Tuesday 8 October 2013 9:44

I'd rather get shot at with paintballs than have a soccerball kicked at my crotch. I suspect most guys here would agree.

isallwaysme 27

Tuesday 8 October 2013 21:10

i dont know. a paintball to the crotch is more painful. i should know (i play and ref speedball)

Maui303 1

Tuesday 8 October 2013 10:04

Do you work at a corn maze and get shot at by zombie hunters on a school bus?

Bcfrmkc816 17

Tuesday 8 October 2013 10:14

Sounds like some fun

kumarina 35

Tuesday 8 October 2013 10:23

Hey is ok, you are trying for an honest way, cheers!!

CrissyyyS2 22

Tuesday 8 October 2013 10:29

You should offer the idea to make it more challenging and start dodging them (:

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The Top

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

The Top

Today, I summoned the courage to ask out my best friend of 4 years. I’ve had a crush on him for a while now. He told me, “Thanks but no thanks, you’re a great friend but I don’t find you physically attractive enough to go out with.” This always happens with every guy I try to get with. It sucks to be ugly and fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 479

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 046

You deserved it 2 968

Today, I woke up with a bad headache yet again. I've tried changing pillows, mattresses, lifestyle changes, gotten massages, been to different doctors, gotten MRIs, been to a chiropractor and theaphysio. The only thing that worked was the physio, but my circumstances changed and I can no longer afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 87

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asked me out. I say, "Sure…" sarcastically. She then called my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 927

You deserved it 39 540

Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 846

You deserved it 37 428

Today, while getting a dental filling, the fire alarm sounded. The plaza was evacuated and we had to stand outside in the cold for 2 hours. The anesthetic wore off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 61