Health: Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still... - FML

By Username - 05/08/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 082

You deserved it 45 435

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 51 160

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 906

You deserved it 40 664

By Username - 17/07/2011 19:59 - United States

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 4 671

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 719

Tanning

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 15 760

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 150

Soft as snow

By Snow White - 22/05/2017 22:00

Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 053

You deserved it 423

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 152

You deserved it 42 319

By tomchuq - 30/08/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 664

You deserved it 61 251

Next

Top comments

quadder 0

Friday 5 August 2011 23:17

That's nasty

YoLauryn 0

Friday 5 August 2011 23:20

Pretend you did it on purpose to look like a tiger :)

Comments

Dillon1531 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 5:07

You shouldnt tan naked fatty

xxpauliegunzxx 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 5:20

Hate to say it, but you did that to yourself. If you want that to stop, do something about it, instead of going on FML about it.

Zeke_Zimmerman 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 5:36

hahaha!

mekkme 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 7:39

time to lose weight?

MissyBoo13 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 8:24

that's really funny

missysangel 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 11:43

Maybe stop being a retarded fat hoe? Thanks

moonchild6991 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 21:48

Well don't worry, nobody's EVER going to see them

kipfischer 11

Monday 8 August 2011 5:17

Why don't u lose some f ing weight

beasting 0

Monday 8 August 2011 21:19

Maby you should loose sone weight fatty

Oniat 2

Monday 8 August 2011 23:41

Sounds like you need to diet and exercise before you tan. Tanning just increases your cancer risk, anyway.

8
9
10
11
12
13

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 551

You deserved it 7 856

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, my mum put up a sticky fly trap to try get rid of our fly problem. My phone started ringing and I jogged to answer it, but my hair got stuck in the trap. My mum had to pull my hair out of the sticky mess and pick dead fly bodies out of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 399

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 393

You deserved it 7 074

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 259

You deserved it 41 199

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 900

You deserved it 4 705

Today, I dropped the collection basket during Christmas Mass at my Catholic church. Money and checks fell all over the floor and everyone was staring at me. I was too stunned to even pick it up. There were about 1,500 people from our town there and my family won't stop bringing it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 604

You deserved it 1 555

Today, I received a notice that my boyfriend had given me a rose via Happy Aquarium on Facebook. It came with a date cancellation so that he and his friends could play BioShock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 637

You deserved it 4 648