Health: Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still... - FML

By Username - 05/08/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 082

You deserved it 45 435

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Same thing different taste

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 51 160

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 906

You deserved it 40 664

By Username - 17/07/2011 19:59 - United States

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 4 671

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 719

Tanning

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 15 760

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 150

Soft as snow

By Snow White - 22/05/2017 22:00

Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 053

You deserved it 423

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 152

You deserved it 42 319

By tomchuq - 30/08/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 664

You deserved it 61 252

Next

Top comments

quadder 0

Friday 5 August 2011 23:17

That's nasty

YoLauryn 0

Friday 5 August 2011 23:20

Pretend you did it on purpose to look like a tiger :)

Comments

shelbyyyy11 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 0:46

that sounds like a personal problem

miadolcevita 6

Saturday 6 August 2011 0:52

wouldn't it be something if someone found this post sexy? hah

johnnybagodonuts 2

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:26

Yea......it sure would.....I guess

bandit6 2

Saturday 6 August 2011 0:57

Yikes fat chick tatting naked, that's effin gross

bettyc4 26

Saturday 6 August 2011 0:58

START JOGGIN!!!!!!!!!

margie2194 12

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:05

People aren't BORN intelligent. They become intelligent by acquiring knowledge.

johnnybagodonuts 2

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:00

I'm pretty mad that I just read this while eating

kbt13 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:00

"Even...naked," this is gonna be a hot FML... "... fat rolls" the ****?!

lidsthesquid 4

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:10

If anyone says anything just say you're a feisty tiger :D

Bebbo_fml 21

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:12

YDI for scarring God with you indecency.

4Lonely2Stoner0 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:14

If you have fat rolls, you definately should NOT be tanning naked.

sexxychickk 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 1:19

Loss some weight then go tanning again.!

beveywevey 5

Saturday 6 August 2011 10:18

Learn to spell and then post again.

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Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

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You deserved it 276

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 525

The Top

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 402

You deserved it 2 849

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 3 721

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. As we were approaching a stop sign, I looked next to me and saw a guy with a triangle-shaped head. I said to my son, "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 825

You deserved it 72 791

Today, I was excited that my new skin care regimen seemed to be paying off. I told my husband of 35 years about it and asked him if I "looked good". He looked me over as if I were a stalled engine and said, "You look less stressed. That's good, but I mean… You still look like yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 178

Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 270

Today, my latest date ended so badly that I was back home by 8 p.m., drunk on cheap wine, and screaming at myself in the mirror, “What is wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 556