Miscellaneous: Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs,...

By Gustav Fjorder - 04/07/2011 07:27 - Switzerland

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 884

You deserved it 10 342

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Same thing different taste

Man's gotta have his biscuit

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 88

Filling

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 06:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 30 606

By themcdave - 19/05/2012 08:03 - United Kingdom - Cranfield

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 597

You deserved it 4 553

By still hungry - 21/04/2012 13:04 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 326

You deserved it 4 158

Parenting struggles

By Aniel85 - 22/11/2021 20:01

Today, after I worked 15 hours yesterday, coming home at 1 a.m. thinking I could sleep in because my kids have no school, I was woken up at 7 a.m. because they wanted pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 263

By JTinNJ - 27/08/2016 11:57 - United States - Parsippany

Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 577

You deserved it 3 080

FEED ME

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 23:02

Today, I woke up in a military hospital, after having all four wisdom teeth out yesterday. A nurse came in with a breakfast trolley full of eggs and bacon, looks at my pleading face, looks at her clipboard and says, "Only non-solid foods for you, private." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 150

Invisible Woman

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 00:01

Today, I accidentally overslept and missed a morning breakfast at work, one I never get to have when it happens. Not only did my boss say nothing about me being absent, he even asked me if the food was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 392

Breakfast of champions

By Ana - 14/05/2023 06:00

Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 185

By FoodNeeded - 25/08/2016 02:24 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 562

You deserved it 2 053

kyjp 0

Monday 4 July 2011 16:07

next time, get an alarm clock

Livinia 11

Monday 4 July 2011 16:15

Damn.. makes me hungry just reading that.

Comments

Garyy_fml 11

Monday 4 July 2011 17:36

Brownies for breakfast?

Das_Judenburg 0

Monday 4 July 2011 17:37

Well if there was only 1 fruit smoothie you didn't moss out on much.

Bluedoom 8

Monday 4 July 2011 17:43

that's sucks, my family does that all the time!!

BigDave81 0

Monday 4 July 2011 17:44

Either you have a large family, or your exaggerating. Come on now...

TrollFeeder 10

Monday 4 July 2011 18:07

LOL you mean spelling error not grammar error. FAIL!

dancebabe34 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 9:13

I think you posted that on the wrong comment

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 4 July 2011 17:56

#whitepeopleproblems

ShadowTheDumbass 10

Monday 4 July 2011 19:17

That doesn't happen to a lot of people.

SGT_DBL 15

Monday 4 July 2011 18:03

Who serves brownies for breakfast? Stoners? I doubt stoners like bacon. Doesn't add up. Anyway, YDI. Buy an alarm clock, stoner.

shamille 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 0:36

special brownies?

br_bersuk 0

Monday 4 July 2011 18:07

bro I feel bad for you

Snowble11 13

Monday 4 July 2011 18:25

So the Swedish have brownies for breakfast, awesome

sebvissers 6

Monday 4 July 2011 20:26

he's swiss, not swedish... I hate it when people get the two mixed up...

ndclover 3

Monday 4 July 2011 18:26

Early birds get the worms.

trellz17 19

Monday 4 July 2011 18:33

well there's no way they could've ate all that by themselves. there might be some left.

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The Top

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 767

You deserved it 731

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 170

You deserved it 9 445

The Top

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 645

You deserved it 4 674

Today, I sent out a Happy Snow Day text to 20 of my closest friends. My boyfriend, who doesn't have an iPhone, didn't realize it was a group text. He sent back a text breaking up with me. To all the people in the group message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 254

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 204

You deserved it 5 151

Today, I went in to take my College Placement tests. I'd spent all week ignoring actual homework to study for these tests. When I got there, the responsible told me that the tests were last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 2 080

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 228

You deserved it 1 684

Today, I have a great union job and have told my friends about it. I recently received three calls from a very irate person, blaming me for, "stealing their workers by telling them about 'union BS'." I literally can't find their company anywhere, but they claim they will sue me. I don't even know who they are! FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 122