Intimacy: Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very... - FML

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 403

You deserved it 18 260

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By lame - 20/10/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 7 560

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 135

You deserved it 3 109

By She totally did not cheat - 15/08/2018 22:00

Spicy

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 352

You deserved it 293

It's the thought that counts, or something

By Henji - 10/12/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 41 936

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Spicy

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 20:00 - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 982

You deserved it 7 330

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 9 625

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 9 907

By I_Lossed - 03/11/2009 11:02 - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 519

You deserved it 4 779

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 684

You deserved it 3 512

Next

Top comments

ChaosZirconia 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:45

...bitch.

Brown5922 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:39

ohhh haha nice gift from you... but i guess your not performing well?

Comments

dailydaisies 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:03

uhoh.

Lucicx0 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:10

id snatch that necklace back reeeal quick

jackaaa 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:10

The gift that keeps on giving.

ZING_MASTER 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:10

THREE INCH ZING!!!

spankyness 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:14

Whatever doesn't mean its small just means your girl likes them big... Its like breats to us guys. She's given you a prime opening here next year you get her breast implants and she can't say crap

ZXDriver 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 21:02

Nice lol

dwights 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:20

lol sorry dude and number 15 is a genius!

singer424 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:25

lol, karmas a bitch

LLLP 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:56

Yeah karma is at play here. I see what your saying.

sexygirl123 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:25

haha yeah 15 is right. You should so do that next time!

outlaw_lloyd 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:32

that sucks

jymi 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 2:34

cheap bitch.

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The Top

Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 136

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 937

You deserved it 6 045

The Top

Today, my divorced parents have started sending each other photos of both of my bedrooms, to, “compare the shambles and see who wins.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 858

You deserved it 2 392

Today, I drove across two states to see my brother, who's had a history of heart problems. My mother had sent me a long e-mail saying he was on his death bed and wanted to talk to me to "get his affairs in order." When I arrived worriedly, he was fine. My mother guilt-tripped me to come visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 2 567

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 769

You deserved it 4 944

Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 674

You deserved it 2 647

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 5 912