Intimacy: Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very...

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 403

You deserved it 18 260

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Same thing different taste

By lame - 20/10/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 7 560

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 135

You deserved it 3 109

By She totally did not cheat - 15/08/2018 22:00

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 352

You deserved it 293

It's the thought that counts, or something

By Henji - 10/12/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 41 936

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 20:00 - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 982

You deserved it 7 330

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 9 625

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 9 907

By I_Lossed - 03/11/2009 11:02 - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 519

You deserved it 4 779

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 684

You deserved it 3 512

ChaosZirconia 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:45

...bitch.

Brown5922 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:39

ohhh haha nice gift from you... but i guess your not performing well?

Comments

thatgaykid 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 4:31

haha girls like that make me happy to be gay haha... FYL mann

Bakergirl 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 4:31

maybe she was trying to make him feel better about his sexual performance.

King_of_Kings 3

Wednesday 4 March 2009 4:33

i agree with #12

PureGold 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 4:42

Aww :(...not very nice haha. But if it makes yo feel any better, my mom got my dad a salad spinner for Valentines Day xP

BamaFan112 1

Wednesday 4 March 2009 4:59

Agreed with #28. And if she's skinny then either insist on her getting breast implants...or just break up with the bitch =P

Amkii 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 5:52

Wow, she sounds... cheap.

tyler1 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 6:04

its called a hint shape up or she'll find a new guy sorry bud

alwaysalady 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 6:30

She sounds awful. If my husband gave me diamonds, I'd rip his clothes off right there. And then I'd buy him a car.

Stupoopy 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 6:40

The way I see it is that she's saying to you: I like you a lot and I plan to stick with you, so lets get rid of any long term problems.

csigabajnok 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 6:55

Why are you shocked? You got gifts that are keys to the other one's genitalia, didn't you?

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Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 366

You deserved it 29 693

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 365

You deserved it 5 630

The Top

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 300

You deserved it 4 524

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 2 341

Today, my wife asked if I wanted a threesome with her friend for my birthday. I couldn't tell if she was being sincere, or secretly testing me. I had such a bad panic attack that I passed out and went to the hospital. Oh, and she's mad at me now for "getting excited at the prospect of cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 117

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 510

You deserved it 4 748

Today, at 9 o’clock in the morning while I was working, I made the mistake of being comfortable with a machine that literally bends and breaks steel bars. I lost my entire middle finger and the top third of my pinky and ring fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 734

You deserved it 1 556

Today, I found out that my daughter uses visits to my house as punishment for her kids. “Do as you’re told or we’re going to grandma's house where you’ll be bored for hours.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 233

Same thing different taste

It's the thought that counts, or something

Romance is dead

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