Miscellaneous: Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred... - FML

By anonymous - 20/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 169

You deserved it 3 426

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By me - 22/09/2013 13:34 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 395

You deserved it 8 530

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 470

You deserved it 2 859

By MikeA - 09/06/2017 12:00

Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 496

You deserved it 2 124

By stopstutteringforSiri - 05/01/2014 21:59 - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 978

You deserved it 6 106

By JillianJuneBug - 04/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 291

You deserved it 1 457

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 940

You deserved it 3 986

Send message

By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 329

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 4 460

Wizard skills

By Patrick - 04/09/2022 04:30

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 527

Next

Top comments

brewmasterg 34

Monday 20 July 2015 11:29

I hope you know she signs your emails that way.

Cads1 24

Monday 20 July 2015 11:22

Siri knows best.

Comments

rec_chem 22

Monday 20 July 2015 20:54

Siri calls me "Your Majesty". She only calls you what you tell her to call you. You must have been druuuuuuuuuuunk. Lol

ezrajab 22

Monday 20 July 2015 20:57

That's hysterical!

daemonsparta 16

Monday 20 July 2015 21:37

she calls me nothing because i have galaxy

psychocrystal 8

Monday 20 July 2015 22:01

If I leave my phone alone and my boyfriend finds it he tells Siri to call me "towelhead"

Tonymac617 16

Tuesday 21 July 2015 1:25

You can ask Siri to call you anything you want. I had her call me master for a while since I was feeling neglected at home and needed to hear a woman's voice call me something important FML lol

mitchell360 13

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:01

Must've been hacked haha

HowToGetFired 15

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:43

Do you have a bf? Bc it's probably him

Rainbow_Princess 16

Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:48

At least she didn't call you vinegar ****...

sarcasmwins 24

Tuesday 21 July 2015 7:31

I'll take Sugartits any day over her response for 'What's zero divided by zero?'.

afrostybird 25

Tuesday 21 July 2015 9:05

This isn't a bad thing! Haha

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Health Miscellaneous Party Embarrassing Dogs Animals Shopping Relatable Cute Kids Coffee Cats Holidays AITA Relationship advice Love Ghosting Sports Awkward Money Solitude Lonely Management Work Surprise Birthday Food Gross Friends Depression

The Top

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 116

You deserved it 5 646

Today, I showed up to my Bumble date with a guy. He looked at me up and down and said, "You look different from the pictures. I pictured you more slimmer." To rub salt in the wound, he proclaimed, "I’d rather staple my nutsack than continue this date. Good luck to you," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 210

You deserved it 4 473

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 255

You deserved it 4 709

Today, it was was my first day back at work as an esthetician. My first client refused to remove her face mask so I could perform the service. She demanded I just do her forehead, and that she’d only pay a third of the price since she’s only getting that part done. I refused and was written up by management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 275

Today, I dropped a butcher's knife on my knuckle. Five stitches later, I can't even wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 786

You deserved it 924

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 732

You deserved it 6 634

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 482