Miscellaneous: Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred... - FML

By anonymous - 20/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 172

You deserved it 3 435

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Same thing different taste

By me - 22/09/2013 13:34 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 402

You deserved it 8 537

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 2 860

By MikeA - 09/06/2017 12:00

Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 498

You deserved it 2 128

By stopstutteringforSiri - 05/01/2014 21:59 - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 982

You deserved it 6 108

By JillianJuneBug - 04/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 298

You deserved it 1 461

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 944

You deserved it 3 989

Send message

By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 333

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 4 464

Wizard skills

By Patrick - 04/09/2022 04:30

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 530

Next

Top comments

brewmasterg 34

Monday 20 July 2015 11:29

I hope you know she signs your emails that way.

Cads1 24

Monday 20 July 2015 11:22

Siri knows best.

Comments

rec_chem 22

Monday 20 July 2015 20:54

Siri calls me "Your Majesty". She only calls you what you tell her to call you. You must have been druuuuuuuuuuunk. Lol

ezrajab 22

Monday 20 July 2015 20:57

That's hysterical!

daemonsparta 16

Monday 20 July 2015 21:37

she calls me nothing because i have galaxy

psychocrystal 8

Monday 20 July 2015 22:01

If I leave my phone alone and my boyfriend finds it he tells Siri to call me "towelhead"

Tonymac617 16

Tuesday 21 July 2015 1:25

You can ask Siri to call you anything you want. I had her call me master for a while since I was feeling neglected at home and needed to hear a woman's voice call me something important FML lol

mitchell360 13

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:01

Must've been hacked haha

HowToGetFired 15

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:43

Do you have a bf? Bc it's probably him

Rainbow_Princess 16

Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:48

At least she didn't call you vinegar ****...

sarcasmwins 24

Tuesday 21 July 2015 7:31

I'll take Sugartits any day over her response for 'What's zero divided by zero?'.

afrostybird 25

Tuesday 21 July 2015 9:05

This isn't a bad thing! Haha

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The Top

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML

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The Top

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

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You deserved it 614

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 173

You deserved it 12 307

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 862

You deserved it 5 148

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 046

You deserved it 3 073

Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 399

You deserved it 209

Today, I was getting my picture taken with my mom and grandma for a portrait. I said it was going to be beautiful when it was done, with three generations of our family in it. My grandma said that would be true, if I weren't adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 945

You deserved it 1 187