Miscellaneous: Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred... - FML

By anonymous - 20/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 169

You deserved it 3 426

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Same thing different taste

By me - 22/09/2013 13:34 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 395

You deserved it 8 530

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 470

You deserved it 2 859

By MikeA - 09/06/2017 12:00

Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 496

You deserved it 2 124

By stopstutteringforSiri - 05/01/2014 21:59 - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 978

You deserved it 6 106

By JillianJuneBug - 04/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 291

You deserved it 1 457

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 940

You deserved it 3 986

Send message

By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 329

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 4 460

Wizard skills

By Patrick - 04/09/2022 04:30

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 527

Next

Top comments

brewmasterg 34

Monday 20 July 2015 11:29

I hope you know she signs your emails that way.

Cads1 24

Monday 20 July 2015 11:22

Siri knows best.

Comments

maaaattteee 4

Tuesday 21 July 2015 12:29

She calls me funtits! ?

bnbhimp 10

Tuesday 21 July 2015 20:40

Sup glittertits

beeferjay 34

Wednesday 22 July 2015 4:57

You can edit Siri preferences, you know

RiDenton 11

Wednesday 22 July 2015 7:57

obviously somebody got a hold of your phone

LadyNightowl 17

Wednesday 22 July 2015 8:38

Either Siri has really stepped up her sass or someone pulled up Siri and told her "call me Sugartits" on your phone.

moss786 7

Wednesday 22 July 2015 10:30

Liar

Titan_Slayer 21

Wednesday 22 July 2015 22:20

Probably a friend of yours. My friend has Siri change my name all the time. I've been "ball scratcher", "butt licker" and "the pope" before. If you have Siri usable without unlocking your phone, then they can change it.

Familyof3 5

Thursday 23 July 2015 6:05

My partner changed my nickname to **** when I wasn't looking, the next day by 1 yr old was playing with my phone and activated Siri ( like she does a lot) and it spoke it nearly called her ****. Safe to say my partner got an abusive text and pissed him self laughing

badderthanbad 7

Thursday 23 July 2015 10:45

LMAOOO?? I think one of your friends has played an epic prank on you so I wish you luck on your presumably hilarious journey of finding out who is the culprit!

pumpkinpii 14

Friday 24 July 2015 0:22

One time she called me John. First off, I am a girl. Second, I asked her what my name was and she immediately said my actual name.

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The Top

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 915

You deserved it 4 305

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 582

You deserved it 2 750

The Top

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 525

You deserved it 17 394

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently I need to "grow up". He's the one who excessively plays Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 969

You deserved it 22 553

Today, I went to get a haircut. The guy next to me was in an Army uniform and had requested a short buzz cut. My stylist had to take a call, so another came out and there must've been a miscommunication, but by then, she was already fast at work. Guess who got stuck with the other guy's haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 1 129

Today, I'm depressed because my long-time dentist, who I've had for nearly two decades, is retiring and I'm having my last appointment with him. It's also depressing that one of my only meaningful relationships is with my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 124

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 283

You deserved it 4 727

Today, my boyfriend left our bed at 6 a.m. to go upstairs and go back to bed with his son and soon to be ex-wife. I then had to ride in the backseat of a car for 6 hours while they talked and laughed. Not once has he asked if I'm okay or what's wrong. I've barely spoke all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 1 763