Miscellaneous: Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred...

By anonymous - 20/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 169

You deserved it 3 426

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By me - 22/09/2013 13:34 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 395

You deserved it 8 530

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 470

You deserved it 2 859

By MikeA - 09/06/2017 12:00

Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 496

You deserved it 2 124

By stopstutteringforSiri - 05/01/2014 21:59 - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 978

You deserved it 6 106

By JillianJuneBug - 04/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 291

You deserved it 1 457

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 940

You deserved it 3 986

Send message

By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 329

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 4 460

Wizard skills

By Patrick - 04/09/2022 04:30

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 527

brewmasterg 34

Monday 20 July 2015 11:29

I hope you know she signs your emails that way.

Cads1 24

Monday 20 July 2015 11:22

Siri knows best.

Comments

Jeweleee 1

Friday 24 July 2015 0:42

things like this make me wish I didn't have a Droid

KingLewisII 34

Friday 24 July 2015 6:15

so now Mel Gibson is the voice of Siri

sjsjwbso 8

Wednesday 29 July 2015 16:26

she said it with love

cybRuser 16

Tuesday 29 December 2015 9:27

what the ****

GreyGirl 15

Thursday 11 February 2016 5:24

My sister made my Siri call me jackass

yahtzeesouls 12

Saturday 2 April 2016 20:40

Do u have kids? That's probably what's wrong

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Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 567

You deserved it 2 623

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 236

You deserved it 13 229

The Top

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 140

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 980

You deserved it 5 562

Today, it really feels like I ain’t even got organs, because no matter what I eat or drink, that shit goes straight down and out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 79

Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 437

You deserved it 2 285

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 004

You deserved it 3 919

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 455

You deserved it 31 241

Same thing different taste

Meltdown

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Wizard skills

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