Miscellaneous: Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred...

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By anonymous - 20/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 178

You deserved it 3 437

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Same thing different taste

By me - 22/09/2013 13:34 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 404

You deserved it 8 542

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 481

You deserved it 2 862

By MikeA - 09/06/2017 12:00

Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 502

You deserved it 2 136

By stopstutteringforSiri - 05/01/2014 21:59 - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 985

You deserved it 6 108

By JillianJuneBug - 04/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 304

You deserved it 1 464

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 948

You deserved it 3 989

Send message

By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 334

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 4 465

Wizard skills

By Patrick - 04/09/2022 04:30

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 535

brewmasterg 34

Monday 20 July 2015 11:29

I hope you know she signs your emails that way.

Cads1 24

Monday 20 July 2015 11:22

Siri knows best.

Comments

Jeweleee 1

Friday 24 July 2015 0:42

things like this make me wish I didn't have a Droid

KingLewisII 34

Friday 24 July 2015 6:15

so now Mel Gibson is the voice of Siri

sjsjwbso 8

Wednesday 29 July 2015 16:26

she said it with love

cybRuser 16

Tuesday 29 December 2015 9:27

what the ****

GreyGirl 15

Thursday 11 February 2016 5:24

My sister made my Siri call me jackass

yahtzeesouls 12

Saturday 2 April 2016 20:40

Do u have kids? That's probably what's wrong

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Today, I had the most amazing lesbian sex of my life with this girl I had been crushing on for so long. Today is also the day I became practically homeless, courtesy of my parents, who apparently never heard of knocking before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 382

Today, my girlfriend asked what my sexual fantasy was, and I said Catwoman. She got disgusted at me, because according to her, Catwoman is 15 years-old or something. Turns out she has only seen Gotham, featuring Catgirl as a teenager, and not the grown-up Halle Berry version I was talking about. FML

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You deserved it 233

The Top

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

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You deserved it 14 195

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

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You deserved it 3 472

Today, my boyfriend diagnosed me with scoliosis. During doggystyle. FML

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You deserved it 89

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 965

You deserved it 4 785

Today, I got mad at my wife for giving her male coworker a ride home. I know nothing went on with them because I tracked her phone, I’m mad that he offered her a job in the business he’s starting, because she’ll be making a LOT more money than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 3 215

Today, I’m having knee surgery. I can’t drive for the next week because of the heavy duty pain killers, so my mom told me I'll have to walk to and from school. It’s only a couple of miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 688

You deserved it 225

Same thing different taste

Meltdown

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