Money: Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

By Optimus_Prime97 - 03/05/2012 02:39 - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 935

You deserved it 31 806

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Same thing different taste

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 317

You deserved it 15 396

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

Cough up

By anbrown6 - 12/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 267

You deserved it 9 892

By Anonymous - 28/08/2011 11:29 - Australia

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 410

You deserved it 43 025

By Jayman223 - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Reno

Today I adopted a dog. He ran away the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 744

You deserved it 1 163

By Bubba - 23/09/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 11 077

By That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 3 625

By bels12 - 05/01/2010 05:15 - Australia

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 915

You deserved it 9 349

By Fish Breath - 03/06/2016 22:26 - United States - Bloomington

Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 035

You deserved it 4 132

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:19

How do you "accidentally" adopt a dolphin?

waresjake 3

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:23

You're going to get so many bitches with a dolphin

Comments

babygirl83150 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 18:13

What?!?!? I almost crapped my pants when I read this. How do you "accidentally" adopt a dolphin? And how the heck do you adopt a dolphin?

MegaTheater 5

Thursday 3 May 2012 18:23

Dolphins are awesome.. But should have gone for the tiger.. Imagine taking it out for a walk every evening

TheNewGuy03 28

Thursday 3 May 2012 19:12

I walk my dolphin every morning in my red Radio Flyer wagon. Incidentally, I also take the short bus to school. |the kid|

aileen15 15

Thursday 3 May 2012 18:42

my mom will take it she has a obsession with dolphins...well put it in our bathtub :D

8KAGE8 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 18:55

Wait...what? How do to accidentally adopt a DOLPHIN? But hey look on the optimist's side, you have a dolphin! :D

Scotttles23 2

Thursday 3 May 2012 19:23

That's an awesome buy!!! Where can I get one?!?

angelinaanimerg 7

Thursday 3 May 2012 19:27

Let it go into the wild Dolphins are miserable in captivity

Elendil_fml 10

Thursday 3 May 2012 19:30

That's not an FML. That's a "My Life Is Awesome."

BigSkeeze 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 19:50

How is this even a FML. you should feel happy for adopting one. I wish I had a dolphin :(

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 3 May 2012 19:52

Come on dolphins are AWESOME! You could train it and then make money on it at a dolphin show...

BlackCube2 2

Thursday 3 May 2012 20:20

DO WE HAVE A BIRTHDAY HERE!!!

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Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 101

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I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 651

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 626

You deserved it 263

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I agree, your life sucks 12 364

You deserved it 6 692

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I agree, your life sucks 43 216

You deserved it 10 816

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I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 268

Today, I'm closing on a house with my boyfriend of 9 years at the end of this week. We have plans to be engaged. When discussing what rooms would be what, he mentioned how one could be a nursery. I told him 9 years ago, and several other times, that I didn't want kids. Turns out he's been waiting for me to change my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 439

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 984

Same thing different taste

Cough up

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