Health: Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake.... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/04/2012 13:55 - Sweden - Falk?ping

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 658

You deserved it 4 752

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By DiiiDiiine - 27/10/2014 14:22 - France - Limoges

Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 361

You deserved it 3 780

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 153

By Ryan - 07/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 464

You deserved it 4 062

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 968

You deserved it 7 580

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 131

Crime scene

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 10:00

Today, I rented a holiday cottage, assuring the owner I was a very tidy person. Then I sliced my finger while cooking and got blood on the kitchen towels and the cream rug, then the wound opened up again during my shower, I didn’t notice and now there’s blood on the white bathroom towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 237

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 124

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 05:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 922

You deserved it 3 492

Tetchy

By ouch.... - 22/10/2013 01:24 - United States - Duxbury

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 165

You deserved it 3 572

Next

Top comments

MikeDa1Da 14

Sunday 15 April 2012 19:36

Doesn't matter, had cake.

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 15 April 2012 19:35

It was an honest question. Either a cake that has taken a while to make, ruined, or a little cut... You'll live OP, unless you have an artery in your finger.

Comments

Feartheunknown 4

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:27

He sounds like the kind of guy who would eat the cake even if your blood had gotten on it.

Beckleyy 15

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:30

Well... did it?

The_Hitdude 12

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:31

40: I'm really resisting the urge to cyber bitch-slap you right now. So before I go, I'm going to say this: Read her ******* profile. And it's called a Hijab. Have a nice day.

feranmi101 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:31

She is a Muslim dumbass

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:33

40 - The_Hitdude and I will double team your ass. Are assholes such as yourself allowed on FML?

mercsl65 7

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:50

hes probably fed up with dealing with a bitchy overreactive wife by now. and he knows whatever he said would have probably ended up on fml.

Birdie_Sage 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 21:02

That's looking at it differently... But maybe she hadn't cooked anything good for awhile and he just wanted to know if the amazing food was ok.

kimmi41509 10

Sunday 15 April 2012 22:50

You sound like a dumbass.

goodgurlgonebad 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 20:56

its funny he may right at this moment be posting on fml my overreacting wife ruined a perfectly good piece of sponge cake an looked at me for help i was so emotinal fml

highonlife10 0

Sunday 15 April 2012 21:39

Wouldn't want to ruin a perfectly good sponge cake

shocka_fml 4

Sunday 15 April 2012 21:43

Sounds like he's got his priorities in order

alfred07 18

Sunday 15 April 2012 22:02

Maybe he knew she was alright. One time my fiancée said she had an accident or something, my first instinct was to ask her if she was ok buy I didn't because I figured that she must be. She was but she didn't appreciate my reasoning.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing AITA Weird Am I overreacting? Dating Love Sleep Work Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 293

The Top

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 342

You deserved it 5 758

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 691

You deserved it 2 844

Today, my wife is furious at me because she made a memory box for our kids, with objects linked to milestones, silly memories, holidays and so on, and try as I might I couldn’t identify a single damn one of them, except for a paint sampler from the time we repainted the whole house in one weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 433

Today, the snails have been so prolific that not only have I lost any hope of growing vegetables this year, but they have actually eaten all the flowers off my crocuses, and the broom on the terrace looks like it’s wearing hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 85

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 983

You deserved it 11 161

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 853

You deserved it 3 210