Intimacy: Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years...

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 138

You deserved it 11 762

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Same thing different taste

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 423

You deserved it 11 366

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 468

You deserved it 5 362

By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 921

You deserved it 12 119

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 932

You deserved it 644

Almost there

By fucksake - 05/10/2014 15:55 - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 334

You deserved it 4 685

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 449

You deserved it 8 035

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 936

You deserved it 7 093

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 315

By Anonymous - 10/10/2014 21:51 - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 721

You deserved it 24 339

By fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU - 03/03/2014 22:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 339

You deserved it 9 623

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 27 March 2013 22:14

Its not about the size of the boat, rather the motion in the ocean.

KeXu 6

Wednesday 27 March 2013 22:14

Don't worry you'll always be bigger than me

Comments

thefirstAvenger 6

Thursday 28 March 2013 15:25

youre a wizard :0

1Laugh4tY0urP41n 3

Thursday 28 March 2013 17:37

I hear if you are a virgin till you're thirty you become a wizard... Did you become a wizard? 0_o

onorexveritas 23

Thursday 28 March 2013 19:13

ooh, that's harsh

Merylwen 24

Thursday 28 March 2013 19:50

Awww that's terrible =( I don't understand why someone who's supposed to be the love of your life would treat you like this.

pogomonkey83 5

Thursday 28 March 2013 20:00

Dude, I feel sorry for you. This is conclusive proof that it is retarded to wait until marriage to have sex. It goes against our nature. At least if you're not well endowed but have plenty of experience you have a better chance of satisfying a woman and avoiding being laughed at.

JaMeSFourTwenty 2

Thursday 28 March 2013 20:38

It's not the size of the dick, its the depth of the pussy. She must of stretched it out some.

cmb8280 24

Thursday 28 March 2013 23:54

I really want to say YDI for waiting so long... BUT I know it's a personal decision, yada yada, so first off, your wife is a BITCH. She's the one who agreed to marry you without seeing your schlong, so she has no room to laugh. Second, a small penis is not a big deal. There are LOTS of ways to satisfy a woman without using your dick. Give her some toe curling O's that way, she'll never notice the size issue again.

lachicadecafe 12

Friday 29 March 2013 3:42

I'm so sorry to hear that! But for what it's worth, I once dated a guy with an extremely small penis, but he was wonderful in the sack. The size didn't matter: what mattered is that he knew how to use it! Practice makes perfect, so I hope your bride will stop laughing and practice with you!