Love: Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked...

By cockblocked - 11/05/2012 18:29 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 903

You deserved it 23 958

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Same thing different taste

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By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 6 822

By Burntintomyretinas - 19/09/2012 04:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 845

You deserved it 3 608

By talkssuck - 30/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 474

You deserved it 18 537

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 641

You deserved it 45 065

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 761

You deserved it 6 944

By nahalDZ - 20/10/2012 17:29 - Germany - K?ln

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 489

You deserved it 5 327

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 452

You deserved it 2 611

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 015

You deserved it 7 503

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 10 260

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 241

You deserved it 3 808

greeneye_fml 12

Friday 11 May 2012 22:24

Cockblocked by Richard Simmons.

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 11 May 2012 22:27

Troll dad always wins! Unless put against Troll mom.

Comments

hereinnc 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:08

ROFL I will have to save that in the vault for when my kiddos get older...

justinrich 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:09

Boss

flapdoodle 2

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:12

I have two sons. Where can I get these Richard Simmons posters in bulk? Is this all it takes to scare girls these days?

lovepandorasaver 11

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:20

Even if your dad does own a stack of Richard Simmons posters, imo he is still a badass. Go dad! FYL though haha

luckyd880 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 3:59

Richard Simmons posters don't work on every girl. I wouldn't care. I would laugh and then make him prove to me that he's not gay. Haha. Or at least let him explain that it was his dad and not him.

lovepandorasaver 11

Saturday 12 May 2012 20:24

Agreed, I would of been like I put them there so I could last longer with you babe lol

luckyd880 12

Sunday 13 May 2012 10:39

Hahaha ewwww I would think a guy couldnt keep his boner looking at him! Even a gay guy haha. "babe I put them up to make me last longer" *goes limp* Night ruined. Lol