Health: Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local...

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 012

You deserved it 4 070

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Same thing different taste

That hurts, BTW

By phillij2 - 09/07/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 461

You deserved it 6 311

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 3 533

By Anonymous - 31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 635

You deserved it 3 545

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 3 359

It's alive!

By yes I felt EVERYTHING - 11/01/2022 20:01

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 139

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 987

You deserved it 11 435

By EnderHorse - 05/11/2015 20:52 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 762

You deserved it 2 525

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 506

You deserved it 3 847

By bouncekitty - 20/02/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 5 450

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 839

You deserved it 15 017

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:35

General anaesthesia is ALWAYS better. That way you can't hear us saying "Oh shit, what the hell is that?" and talking about you.

torio123 27

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:33

That is so metal

Comments

bach2121 13

Wednesday 7 August 2013 6:10

He's a goose!

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 7 August 2013 8:17

Huh?

caohm 18

Wednesday 7 August 2013 6:11

sounds like something a murderer would say.....

olpally 32

Wednesday 7 August 2013 6:25

Oh wonderful. Thanks doc for making me feel even more comfortable. :/ lol. Good god.

needacharger 10

Wednesday 7 August 2013 6:27

Bedside manner at its best

DeadJuntao 9

Wednesday 7 August 2013 6:56

Good lord, I would've fainted if that happened to me...

luminis12 23

Wednesday 7 August 2013 7:00

Talk about bad bedside manner

brians2617m 7

Wednesday 7 August 2013 7:07

Y'know, honestly, at least the surgeon has a sense of humor. I'd rather be under the knife with him than some zombie surgeon.

thatgirlincali 13

Wednesday 7 August 2013 7:26

He/she was probably just trying lighten the mood, though I'm sure they should have done it in a lighter manner.

swordidfate 13

Wednesday 7 August 2013 7:36

Oh come on, I'd rather have a doctor with a sense of humor

Poetaster 10

Wednesday 7 August 2013 8:04

Generally speaking, that sucks!

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I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

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You deserved it 107

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I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 234

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I agree, your life sucks 43 797

You deserved it 5 107

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I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 169

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I agree, your life sucks 3 732

You deserved it 1 555

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You deserved it 3 558