Health: Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local...

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 012

You deserved it 4 070

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

That hurts, BTW

By phillij2 - 09/07/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 461

You deserved it 6 311

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 3 533

By Anonymous - 31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 635

You deserved it 3 545

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 3 359

It's alive!

By yes I felt EVERYTHING - 11/01/2022 20:01

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 139

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 987

You deserved it 11 435

By EnderHorse - 05/11/2015 20:52 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 762

You deserved it 2 525

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 506

You deserved it 3 847

By bouncekitty - 20/02/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 5 450

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 839

You deserved it 15 017

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:35

General anaesthesia is ALWAYS better. That way you can't hear us saying "Oh shit, what the hell is that?" and talking about you.

torio123 27

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:33

That is so metal

Comments

lickastick 27

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:38

Definitely words you want to hear before a big surgery.

assassinbanana0 20

Wednesday 7 August 2013 7:37

At least he won't be able to feel it

kievking 14

Wednesday 7 August 2013 11:32

I'm guessing he was joking because you don't want to increase anxiety in a patient before surgery. He probably said it in the explanation of what was going to happen to loosen the mood.

lil_ham1644 29

Tuesday 24 June 2014 4:08

Loosen the mood? "Lessen" the mood

UnluckyGenius 21

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:39

If you can't handle that, there is always weenie hut general.

annie_nk 22

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:40

Jesus! What kind of doctor says something like that?! That was very unprofessional.

13ky13 20

Wednesday 7 August 2013 6:30

He put the laughter in slaughterhouse.

green2go 14

Wednesday 7 August 2013 8:25

An awesome one

Sandsh8rk 36

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:40

I think he's been playing too much surgeon simulator...

Damned_Architect 25

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:44

Well, if OP has never had an anesthetic before, the doctors will have to be very careful as some people are allergic to the medicines. Hearing about OP's doctor bring such a putz is quite disconcerting seeing that OP's life is on the line.

dramaelf 37

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:44

Just as you lose consciousness you'll see him pull out a chainsaw...

Natalle11 6

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:46

He's just joking, people can do that.

andits 21

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:46

I'd definitely worry! But then again you'd be sleeping through it. Still good luck....

redbandit9877 12

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:47

If he said it with a creepy grin I would run, but maybe that's just me. Surgeons are scary.

mimiminx 23

Wednesday 7 August 2013 17:29

Yeah terrifying the way they save lives and all...

Callmesam 10

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:59

Slaughterhouse isn't far off from some surgeries! Broke two bones above my ankle, they strung my leg up, pulled out out, used drills and metal to hold things together and then stitched me back up. No one wants to see that!