Health: Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local...

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 012

You deserved it 4 070

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

That hurts, BTW

By phillij2 - 09/07/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 461

You deserved it 6 311

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 3 533

By Anonymous - 31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 635

You deserved it 3 545

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 3 359

It's alive!

By yes I felt EVERYTHING - 11/01/2022 20:01

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 139

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 987

You deserved it 11 435

By EnderHorse - 05/11/2015 20:52 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 762

You deserved it 2 525

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 506

You deserved it 3 847

By bouncekitty - 20/02/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 5 450

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 839

You deserved it 15 017

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:35

General anaesthesia is ALWAYS better. That way you can't hear us saying "Oh shit, what the hell is that?" and talking about you.

torio123 27

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:33

That is so metal

Comments

chinchilla417 12

Wednesday 7 August 2013 8:07

I'm sorry that the comment he made was so disconcerting to you. I believe your surgeon was attempting some humor to lighten the mood ( though he failed miserably).

Krystal3408 32

Wednesday 7 August 2013 8:11

What a great surgeon!

jesterkitty4 14

Wednesday 7 August 2013 8:34

Lol this reminds me of Scrubs for some reason

vde_fml 15

Wednesday 7 August 2013 9:20

Almost all surgeons have this sence of hummor.

CorpsmanUp88 21

Wednesday 7 August 2013 10:22

Got to love doctors.

_Peppermint_ 34

Wednesday 7 August 2013 10:30

Recently read a creepypasta that was related to something exactly like this. Gulp.

amarie2009 22

Wednesday 7 August 2013 11:38

Was his name Dr House by any chance???

grghillis96 15

Wednesday 7 August 2013 14:00

Was his name Sips? If so that would explain why he said that.

ViviMage 38

Wednesday 7 August 2013 19:14

I had 2 surgeries on my neck. One as a thyroidectomy, the other to treat bone spurs. Each surgery I lost 3 tablespoons of blood. He's trying to humor you. I'm sure you'll do fine!