Work: Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my...

By Anonymous - 03/09/2014 22:30 - United States - Phillipsburg

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 049

You deserved it 36 179

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 35 992

By mary - 09/08/2012 18:10 - United Kingdom

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 020

You deserved it 6 883

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 1 281

By anonymous - 05/02/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 925

You deserved it 45 104

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 4 964

By enjoy - 13/10/2008 08:30

Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 357

You deserved it 23 102

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 771

You deserved it 71 621

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 15:55 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 223

You deserved it 6 033

Yummy

By Massasam - 11/10/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 764

You deserved it 41 987

Caught in 4K

By reptar2009 - 02/12/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 426

You deserved it 87 581

bombielol 20

Thursday 4 September 2014 11:26

just buy her a new one?

okay33 12

Thursday 4 September 2014 11:22

You flushed that chance away!

Comments

sdroze1389 31

Saturday 22 November 2014 8:42

am I the only person who considered OP wasn't smoking a cig but maybe a bowl. everyone just rushed in to drop their valuable opinions in how they feel about cigarettes.

BoriquaLove293 25

Wednesday 17 February 2016 23:56

At least it's not lost haha

Shadow9876 19

Wednesday 8 June 2016 21:02

This is the universe telling you it's time to stop smoking.

Surewhatever 35

Monday 11 November 2019 15:53

Choosing to smoke is not a bright idea, but I don't think it should be illegal. I work in a hospital, and I see the aftereffects all the time. So many people dying young. So many people out in their wheelchairs because they can't get past the addiction. Also, so much trouble for the staff because they insist on their right to smoke and cause inconvenience to everyone around. And extra hospital bills. Also, although I live in the states, the hospital I work at cannot legally turn someone away. So many people are being treated for free, and taxpayers get the bill. It's just a very unfortunate thing. On the other hand, when something truly shitty happens- a cigarette can really calm me down. So temporarily helpful, at least for me. It can just be a very selfish habit to have and it would be great if people saw it that way and stopped to try to make the world better for everyone.