Transportation: Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was...

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 350

You deserved it 34 354

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 110

You deserved it 3 177

By Anonymous - 25/05/2013 04:50 - United States - Clifton

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 602

You deserved it 18 325

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 17 912

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 401

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 424

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 943

You deserved it 11 418

By GOLLUM! - 18/05/2017 00:00

Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 679

You deserved it 2 003

Stranded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 942

You deserved it 3 668

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 982

takeapieandrun 9

Sunday 25 September 2011 12:31

Talk about irony...

kkmwong 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 12:34

Epic win for the lanyard.

Comments

HunterAlpha1 8

Monday 26 September 2011 21:21

probably a bad luck charm, i'd give it to someone else while you still can.

bowiesgirl9909 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:35

Well it did warn you...

AD76 1

Tuesday 27 September 2011 3:52

It's like your lanyard predicted your future. It's the new crystal ball.

yazzy101 11

Tuesday 27 September 2011 6:22

Hahahahahahahaha

wowguy129 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 17:07

Awsome lanyard bro it's mocking you repeating epic fail epic fail

bowlclogger 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 18:23

That's pretty funny. Now go find a lanyard with "lottery winner" printed on it. ;)

_words_of_wisdom 4

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:08

its not your fault it happens to everyone once. now ME on the other hand has done it twice (not enirely my fault)

thejedi08 10

Wednesday 28 September 2011 0:37

thats an epic fail for you... irony hurts dont it?

Dragon_Soul 4

Wednesday 28 September 2011 7:52

You saw it comin man

goldfish094 0

Wednesday 28 September 2011 9:51

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I love this!! XD

Keywords

Parenting Miscellaneous Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Social Media Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Relatable Work Awkward Embarrassing Transportation Cars Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 349

You deserved it 8 250

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 386

You deserved it 4 329

Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 247

You deserved it 3 773

Today, the weather forecast said it would be nice all day, with only a tiny shower in the afternoon, so I went on a 50 km bike ride to enjoy the summer. In reality, it rained pretty much all day, with a little bit of sunshine occasionally in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 192

Today, I was forced to use Egspy on my wife's iPhone. She is going out with a colleague in exchange for getting her promotion approved. I've never had any hints or doubts, but it seems she's having illicit relations with multiple colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 109

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my bookbag, which I had placed underneath the truck to keep it out of the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 435

You deserved it 14 696

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 877

You deserved it 4 123

Same thing different taste

Rush hour

Stranded

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