Transportation: Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was...

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 350

You deserved it 34 354

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Same thing different taste

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 110

You deserved it 3 177

By Anonymous - 25/05/2013 04:50 - United States - Clifton

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 602

You deserved it 18 325

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 17 912

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 401

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 424

By Anonymous - 12/11/2008 08:10 - France

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 943

You deserved it 11 418

By GOLLUM! - 18/05/2017 00:00

Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 679

You deserved it 2 003

Stranded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 942

You deserved it 3 668

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 2 982

takeapieandrun 9

Sunday 25 September 2011 12:31

Talk about irony...

kkmwong 11

Sunday 25 September 2011 12:34

Epic win for the lanyard.

Comments

ben9694 0

Monday 26 September 2011 4:26

You sound like someone that I would hate passionately

DRSNICK3RS 2

Monday 26 September 2011 4:48

HahahHhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

whoopsiemolly 4

Monday 26 September 2011 6:39

I have that one too. Nothing has happened to me that's been significantly horrid. Yet.

cicatrice_fml 8

Monday 26 September 2011 10:02

Therefore, there is something to which to look forward.

kenzierice 0

Monday 26 September 2011 6:59

My bf has the same lanyard... I feel bad for you :(

aerogxt 7

Monday 26 September 2011 7:00

I have no choice, epic fail.

jasondavis22 1

Monday 26 September 2011 8:07

Maybe the world was trying to tell you that you shouldn't have bought that lanyard

nekros_fml 5

Monday 26 September 2011 8:25

Epic Faul

jayejayejaye122 3

Monday 26 September 2011 8:31

Epic fail.

raveypoo 4

Monday 26 September 2011 9:27

... Epic fail (;

Burr520 3

Monday 26 September 2011 12:04

Were u locked in the car?

Keywords

Shopping Parenting Miscellaneous AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Relatable Housework Work Awkward Embarrassing Transportation Cars Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 489

You deserved it 15 054

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 832

You deserved it 225

The Top

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 555

You deserved it 7 394

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 844

You deserved it 3 963

Today, awaiting the end of my shift at a call centre, I received my last call. The caller had a riddle: “What’s a cow’s favorite place to go? The moooo-vies!” He then laughed like a hyena and hung up. I wish I could pay my rent with riddles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 139

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 651

You deserved it 2 822

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 647

You deserved it 14 174

Today, I felt like doing a good deed, so when I bought something at a store I told the cashier to keep the change. The cashier then panicked and said, “What do I do???” Turns out, I was her first ever customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 132

Same thing different taste

Rush hour

Stranded

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