Money: Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 611

You deserved it 31 360

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By backtothelaundrettethen - 03/12/2012 11:40 - Germany

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 943

You deserved it 3 867

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 799

You deserved it 8 660

By baconlady - 31/08/2012 07:06 - United States

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 757

You deserved it 9 221

By anon - 10/06/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 5 118

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

Complexion

By balloonface - 18/02/2016 07:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 816

You deserved it 2 323

Extreme reaction

By KCS - 04/03/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 149

By RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 486

You deserved it 5 902

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 190

By shitty candles - 01/12/2014 07:30 - United States - Issaquah

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 587

You deserved it 3 709

Next

Top comments

wavesofblue 1

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

$20 isn't expensive...

Rico255 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

mabey shit is good for the skin also??? worked great on my lawn

Comments

derkaderk 1

Friday 3 September 2010 20:12

ydi*

Samirda 0

Friday 3 September 2010 20:15

Maybe u should have looked it up online and read the reviews or something before buying something that expensive!

cheesecakex 5

Friday 3 September 2010 20:20

it's called a sample .-. couldn't have been that high end if they didn't test it on you, they usually make you test a lot of things so you buy more

gaflar 0

Friday 3 September 2010 20:22

OP said it was moisterizer, not mascara. Once again, moisterizer. They don't care what it smells like so you can't return it.

Kadaver 1

Friday 3 September 2010 20:24

if your in AZ like me, then put the shit on your face. Wrinkles aren't your friend.

ThatsJustMii 0

Friday 3 September 2010 20:32

most things tht are scented aren't the best for you anyways, if it smells how it is it's probably because it's natural

natas_fml 13

Friday 3 September 2010 20:33

you may be suffering from diarrheabedis. symptoms include but are not limited to: foul brown liquids coming out your pores, bad breath,and flies living in your skin.

MissxXXItalia 5

Friday 3 September 2010 20:46

Just take it back? Usually stores will let you if you're not satisfied.

jizwiz 3

Friday 3 September 2010 20:47

Ha $20 expensive. Maybe you should have some anal to make the shit smell seem natural

fiend619 0

Friday 3 September 2010 20:48

does that shit work?

8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 612

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 803

You deserved it 6 103

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 945

You deserved it 10 316

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 251

You deserved it 6 925

Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 119

Today, at a family gathering, I was talking to my uncle about my "awful neighbor who smokes pot all day while listening to shitty bro country, and tries to cover the smell with cheap incense." After a moment of awkward silence, I remembered my cousin, his son, is my neighbor. He was more offended by the fact that I'd insulted his taste in music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 445

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years proposed without a ring. He told me he would get it once his divorce papers are final. I didn't know he was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 147