Love: Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then...

By singleladynow - 20/01/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 377

You deserved it 3 407

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By SayItToMyFace - 11/11/2015 17:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 1 537

By 5220 - 21/04/2009 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 821

You deserved it 4 631

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 00:13 - United States - San Mateo

Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 354

You deserved it 6 996

You got mail

By Awkwardly_dumped - 21/08/2018 14:30

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 378

You deserved it 195

By iJuli - 08/04/2012 05:17 - United States - Billings

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 410

You deserved it 2 687

For better, for worse

By limegreengiraffe - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Lubbock

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 857

You deserved it 7 466

By Anon - 13/03/2016 00:13 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 042

You deserved it 1 385

By whatever - 24/11/2012 07:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 238

You deserved it 2 486

By ish - 14/08/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 915

You deserved it 9 283

By f03_f0r_l1f3 - 26/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 176

You deserved it 65 743

perdix 29

Thursday 20 January 2011 14:04

I didn't realize there was an age limit on when you could use the "it's not you, it's me" speech. "Because my mom doesn't like you" shouldn't be used past age 18, but "it's not you, it's me" is timeless.

DjeePee 24

Thursday 20 January 2011 12:06

I would rather hear that it isn't me than that it is completely my fault.

Comments

bms1996 12

Saturday 16 July 2011 6:12

key his car and slash the tires.

muzakfever 0

Monday 22 August 2011 22:04

Sometimes people mean that speech!

lolmigosh 15

Monday 9 January 2012 0:14

Haha your like J.Lo

theamazingone_12 7

Wednesday 9 May 2012 5:16

im 15 and i dont even do that!! what a di**

Carlie_McCartney 1

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:35

I don't see why age is relevant. George INVENTED the "It's not you, it's me" speech on Seinfeld, and I'd say he's past 37... Regardless, that was an asswipe move and I'm sorry you had to sit in traffic only to get dumped :(

unicornpower56 7

Tuesday 6 November 2012 11:23

37 years old and your not married yet? Dafuq

sororitytaylor 24

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:36

Pull out the Victoria's Secret bag and wave it nonchalantly while you say, "Well, I guess I don't have any use for this anymore," and walk out.

zethreal 4

Friday 16 May 2014 21:35

While I'm only 30, I have just recently given the "It's not you, it's me" speech. Truth be told, that sometimes *is* the truth. Sitting in traffic just to get dumped sucks though.