Health: Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

By heheheh - 22/08/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 981

You deserved it 57 728

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 883

You deserved it 4 466

By jerkgirl - 08/04/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 743

You deserved it 113 251

By beatricesank - 23/05/2009 14:03 - Canada

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 000

You deserved it 6 650

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 497

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 474

You deserved it 9 612

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 485

You deserved it 6 964

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 234

You deserved it 10 549

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 051

You deserved it 6 600

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 214

You deserved it 52 393

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 1 279

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Monday 22 August 2011 11:53

How the hell did you manage to do that?

chuchurocket 4

Monday 22 August 2011 11:58

Next time you "practice", unplug it.

Comments

cherrylover88 4

Tuesday 23 August 2011 1:08

sounds like something I'd probably do 0.o

marryjaneex0 7

Tuesday 23 August 2011 1:26

...how does that even happen ?

iMagzzzy 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 1:39

Sounds kinky.

xaimeexoxo 4

Tuesday 23 August 2011 1:47

Were you licking your straightener?

MaskedAspen 6

Tuesday 23 August 2011 2:02

TMI ?

punkchica123 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 2:37

YDI for making funny faces while straightening your hair

_MidnightLuna_ 17

Tuesday 23 August 2011 2:49

Good job, I think you should go get your head checked now for possible mental illnesses.

1021_duck 2

Tuesday 23 August 2011 2:57

keep practicing, you'll get there !!

newmandotcom 6

Tuesday 23 August 2011 3:02

The sad part is 6 other people have admitted to the same thing in the comments. Human kind is doomed. One idiot we can live with. But 6?

phoebe333 2

Tuesday 23 August 2011 3:27

Talent!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 475

You deserved it 4 034

Today, I went for an interview in the big city, with an expensive commute. Despite being an office-based management role requiring years of experience, they only offered minimum wage. After explaining it wouldn't be acceptable and tried to negotiate, they kicked me out and had the balls to call me "ungrateful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 99

The Top

If only this could last forever...

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 88

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 4 622

Today, I realized that because of COVID-19, I can no longer cough to cover my farts at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 935

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 729

You deserved it 3 079

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 772

You deserved it 7 232

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 262

You deserved it 6 287

Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

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