Health: Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

By heheheh - 22/08/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 981

You deserved it 57 728

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Same thing different taste

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 883

You deserved it 4 466

By jerkgirl - 08/04/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 743

You deserved it 113 251

By beatricesank - 23/05/2009 14:03 - Canada

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 000

You deserved it 6 650

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 497

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 474

You deserved it 9 612

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 485

You deserved it 6 964

By Username - 09/05/2011 17:23 - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 234

You deserved it 10 549

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 051

You deserved it 6 600

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 214

You deserved it 52 393

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 1 279

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Monday 22 August 2011 11:53

How the hell did you manage to do that?

chuchurocket 4

Monday 22 August 2011 11:58

Next time you "practice", unplug it.

Comments

Honestly_Lainey 21

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:00

Was it a dare? It was a dare wasnt it. If so, you've got balls. You should really make a Tshirt. "burned my tongue with a flat iron and lived to tell the tale" or "burned my tongue with a flat iron, kiss it better?" people would buy it. :)

the7thchild 6

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:06

sorry but having sex with your straightener isnt going to make a baby

Jakey00 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:09

your a F***ing retard

misshighjinks 5

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:19

What were you doing?!? If you were doing something stupid then ydi but if you were just doing your hair... Sorry :/

BellaMarta 19

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:24

You probably deserved it.

litbit12 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:37

How in dose that happen plz tell how 8)

chris4342 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:39

Lmaoo fail

xxhallixx 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:45

How the hell?!

shmalls1 10

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:49

Just why.......-__-

jenjack23 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 6:00

Are you just dumb??!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 166

You deserved it 12 516

Today, the woman I am absolutely in love with will only be my friend. I wish I could get her to understand how much it hurts to see her with boyfriends, and only be friends. I'm starting to feel like I can't maintain this friendship because it hurts so much. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 739

The Top

Today, I realized it is my life goal to get kicked out of a fast-food restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 867

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 649

You deserved it 11 352

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 796

You deserved it 9 812

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 043

You deserved it 46 650

Today, our sons, who we thought were asleep, came barging into our room in the middle of the first blowjob my wife has given me in weeks. She was so shocked, she bit down and pulled away at the same time, tearing the big vein on the top of my cock. I had to go to hospital for blood loss and stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 234

You deserved it 231

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 943

You deserved it 4 373

Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

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