Miscellaneous: Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over...

By Mary - 16/12/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 368

You deserved it 3 447

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Compacted

By RatFailure - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 949

You deserved it 3 857

Jump scare

By izzy46111 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 479

You deserved it 5 317

Bored

By letmeinplease - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 727

You deserved it 3 013

Why would you do this?

By harrassment101 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her, so I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 561

You deserved it 57 399

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 218

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 781

You deserved it 1 049

Dogsbody

By tee - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 893

You deserved it 2 027

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 560

You deserved it 4 261

Yada yada yade

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 040

You deserved it 33 820

Dom_Olivares 12

Monday 16 December 2013 12:22

Wouldn't they want to make some money?

DerrickJames 33

Monday 16 December 2013 12:22

They wanted you to quit pestering them.

Comments

FrankHotpants 31

Tuesday 17 December 2013 2:15

They must not want any business

TheRealPitBoss 17

Tuesday 17 December 2013 2:42

In reality he was afraid, tried to bully you into it so he wouldn't have to. A bit of advise move to the country that will help..

nopasanada 3

Tuesday 17 December 2013 5:12

Shut up, and be a man!!!!!!!!!

NoahTheBear 8

Tuesday 17 December 2013 7:44

That's extremely unprofessional.

an3ph 20

Tuesday 17 December 2013 9:01

Well that was rather mousy of her.

Omniprism 14

Tuesday 17 December 2013 16:21

Tell them to do their job as you pay them and you don't want no ******* lip.

Cloversoul 2

Saturday 5 July 2014 5:41

I seriously feel you, I'm a girl, and people that don't know me think I'm a grown man.

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 11 November 2014 15:54

They really don't want to receive money for a job? Why are they there?

InfiniteSecret 20

Thursday 7 September 2017 14:08

Wow I wonder how they haven't closed down with turning down business

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 112

You deserved it 5 918

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 6 900

The Top

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 862

You deserved it 3 329

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 4 358

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 669

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 870

You deserved it 5 563

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 782

You deserved it 300

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 127

You deserved it 4 226

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments