Intimacy: Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the...

By penisgrabber - 15/12/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 7 080

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Same thing different taste

By cutup - 11/07/2012 17:54 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 526

You deserved it 6 434

By StudMuffinette - 18/07/2011 19:40 - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 276

You deserved it 2 979

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 3 411

By workaholic - 15/02/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 264

You deserved it 3 012

By budbunny13 - 30/06/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 683

You deserved it 64 006

By Anonymous - 15/05/2011 04:41 - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 721

You deserved it 26 759

By Puppylove - 26/02/2013 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 10 292

By Noname - 09/03/2009 17:04 - Canada

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 348

You deserved it 8 696

By nickyniknaim93 - 11/03/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 724

You deserved it 17 012

By tbright010 - 08/04/2011 22:48 - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 520

You deserved it 4 627

Ninjafriends 1

Wednesday 15 December 2010 23:41

I noticed that you refrained from saying that you're a dog groomer, and that you "make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates". This implies that you specialize in the penis of dogs. Do you occasionally get requests to groom a dog and have to reply, "sorry, I only do the penis and sometimes the scrotum, you'll have to look elsewhere"? Also, don't lie. You love it.

Alzied 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 23:28

Do you get excited too?

Comments

klynhunter 0

Friday 17 December 2010 5:13

you didn't have to read anything. fyl for not having anything better to do with your life than nit pick about mine. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. I'm not whining, it's more like me telling it like a funny story.

klynhunter 0

Friday 17 December 2010 5:28

also, don't make assumptions based on a few comments you read. I don't run around all day complaining. I was joking around with some friends and someone said, "that sounds like an FML!" so I posted it. I know my life doesn't suck any more than any other average middle class person. I'm not trying to make it sound like it does. don't try to make me sound like some snooty rich spoiled brat that mommy and daddy made get a job. that's not me. I work four jobs, go to college, and take care of my daughter. I think I've earned the right to complain about one job.

magicstar 0

Friday 17 December 2010 6:09

they get excited? get a job doing doggie hand jobs

WhataWook 0

Friday 17 December 2010 7:09

It's only interspecies erotica...god, y'all act like you've never touched a dog's dick...oh wait...i haven't either...sucks for you OP

sinny7684 4

Friday 17 December 2010 12:14

at least you know your skills work! just whenever you get a real and do it up! work them skills, girl!

Melli17 3

Friday 17 December 2010 22:46

who let the dogs out?

Almiesaur 0

Monday 20 December 2010 7:08

So wait, you actually wish you could touch random human penises all day long instead?

klynhunter 0

Monday 17 January 2011 7:54

Er, no. That sounded bad, lol.

teajay159 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 15:39

amen!

Fuck3d278 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 2:35

So I'm still in me teens and volunteer at a shelter. I know where you are coming from because I use to help prep for surgury... Lot of doggy penis there... It gets odd sometimes... Yes.