Intimacy: Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same...

By suckstobeme - 24/03/2010 15:00 - United States

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 321

You deserved it 4 706

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Same thing different taste

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

Cooked

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 567

Breakfast time!

By shit flavored eggs - 09/03/2021 00:30

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 459

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 332

You deserved it 4 005

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 299

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 045

You deserved it 5 631

I love that for you

By NeedHeadPhone - 30/11/2009 16:51 - Canada

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 004

You deserved it 2 993

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 567

You deserved it 4 607

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 604

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

coffeefiend 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:04

Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?

thikimo 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:05

mmm yummy

Comments

moi101 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 6:05

that is just sad

digger21 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 6:14

you're probably gonna wanna stay away from the dough roller too

Nevershoutgabie 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 6:24

hopefully she wasn't naked... :/

peaceSUCKAh 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 6:33

iv seen my parents do worse.

cassie823 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 7:02

So wash the spatula dumbass

adrifter 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 7:08

Incest!

sdaye333 2

Thursday 25 March 2010 7:30

Takes on a whole new meaning of breakfast

WTFLMFAO 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 12:47

she's a bad egg?

hjrn 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 15:21

unless you never wash the spatula I don't see the problem

Katara107 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 15:42

sunny side up thanks.....

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The Top

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 184

Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 1 214

Today, I pulled a shoulder muscle opening my front door. How are your thirties going? FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 148

Today, I found out that my prude wife, who has given up on anything remotely sexually exciting, has been researching swinger clubs. I found out when she “accidentally” texted me a Vice article on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 148

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 014

You deserved it 434

Today, I’m a 28 year-old single mom who has never has never experienced an orgasm. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 607