Kids: Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our... - FML

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 058

You deserved it 5 388

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Same thing different taste

By catbum - 10/11/2016 03:54 - Canada - Regina

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 585

You deserved it 1 483

Oldest trick in the book

By Anonymous - 22/12/2022 15:00

Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 2 209

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 663

You deserved it 5 982

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 211

You deserved it 5 799

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 311

You deserved it 5 391

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 902

Apex predator

By Ihatestraycats - 22/07/2023 12:00

Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 158

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 764

You deserved it 3 170

Next

Top comments

dillies 3

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:01

maybe she thought it was a pencil sharpener?

FerrariCake 2

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:02

You didnt say how old your daughter is. That matters. If she is 6 years old, this behavior indicates the child should see a therapist. If she is 19 years old, this behavior indicates she should contact a **** talent agency.

Comments

itziltheinsane 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:16

*young

AAShah 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:19

I swear, in my country,"laura" (pronounced la-oo-ra) is a slang for penis. Ironic.

Ste1 2

Monday 20 February 2012 2:25

Its lowda

DaveOnDope 4

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:19

Are you sure it wasn't a firecracker?

Aoife_ckyou 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 15:00

dave, is your display picture ops cat?

tjsomethin 9

Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:46

^

hfitz14 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 0:06

your country is screwed

kawigurl 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:53

more info would be helpful here. if shes like 2, u could chalk it up to her not knowing any better. if shes 11, u could chalk it up to being really f**ked up in the head!

Freeze_fml 16

Tuesday 30 November 2010 10:05

Me OW.

caboose003 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 13:24

^win

alig93 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 10:11

kinky! :p

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 30 November 2010 10:30

You think the CAT will like anal? Dude...That's pretty sick...

firemanrob 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 11:05

haha not really an fml honestly it's just funny but **** you cats life

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 30 November 2010 14:45

in the butt.

blazon_paradox 23

Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:14

What what?

laniL_fml 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 12:06

haha wow

frozzenhart 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 12:37

LOL !!! How old is she ? btw FIRST!!! couldn't resist haha

sexieeduck 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 14:32

btw FAIL

iSpasticFantasti 14

Tuesday 30 November 2010 20:10

Btw, ^^^.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, at work, I found out that they are taking all bonus pay away, but giving us an extra $1 an hour due to Covid-19. Last week, they laid off half my department. Those people laid off are making more money on unemployment than I am now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 141

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date, he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand, and gave me his contact card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 3 750

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342

Today, I got a call from my cable company in regards to a bill I didn't pay. I paid the bill two weeks ago in full, but they never told me the account changed when my name was put on the account. So now I owe $170 more, and my ex-roommate is getting a $140 refund in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 487

You deserved it 2 322

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 306

You deserved it 9 130

Today, my check engine light came on. I took my car to the dealership, to be told it wasn’t an issue, and I would be fine to drive and use my car normally until my appointment in 4 days. Four hours later, my car won’t start 45 minutes from home. I guess a $200 tow bill means I wasn’t fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 187