Intimacy: Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a...

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By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:04 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 311

You deserved it 4 485

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By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 07:06 - United States - Corning

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 397

You deserved it 4 382

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 251

You deserved it 7 066

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 297

You deserved it 2 454

Spyware

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 838

You deserved it 10 933

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 809

You deserved it 4 927

WTF roomie?

By JN5SLK - 08/11/2013 22:29 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 091

You deserved it 4 650

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 738

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 757

You deserved it 15 216

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 388

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 245

perdix 29

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

She's not too bright, is she?

ticktockbaboom 6

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

Hey, times are tough

Comments

Obey_StudBoii 23

Saturday 21 September 2013 6:39

What the? -_-

HatemyLife32 15

Saturday 21 September 2013 6:57

Wow! Super nasty

AngryD 9

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:08

you need a new roommate and clean everything with bleach who knows what else has been tainted

marcranger 28

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:44

Heh heh heh, you said taint. And it fits, hopefully better than that flashlight.

tman1985 9

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:09

Well, she knows how to light up a room

sweetbliss3 37

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:25

I suggest pointing her in the right direction; a sex shop. and buy yourself a new flashlight next time you're out.

thearmsofpeace 4

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:32

Someone's hole is pleased.

ThatsJustCray 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 7:43

Do u even sweg?

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:15

That's her flashlight now, right?

rykothechubby 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:24

Sounds more like a fleshlight.

crazytwinsmom 25

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:50

Maybe she needed some light to find something she lost, her virginity?

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The Top

Today, I had to snatch my son's phone to hang up his “super important work phone call” and force him to pay attention to the nurse trying to hand him his newborn son, while his wife was passed out. He's so career obsessed, I don’t think he noticed his son being born at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 231

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 46 196

The Top

Today, after I took up a job to design a website for a company, I had everything done… but they went with someone else. Their boss's nephew made a site that looks like it was pulled from late '90s GeoCities site, and is full of spelling errors and broken links. They paid him $5000 for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 104

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I wouldn't use $5,000 to build him a new gaming computer with my surrogate compensation, even though he basically refuses to get a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 262

Today, my girlfriend of two months and I are in completely different points in our lives. She ambushed me with ideas of having kids, getting married and being together forever. Currently, my biggest concern is passing the tenth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 308

You deserved it 2 757

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 336

You deserved it 24 669

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 006

You deserved it 7 378

Today, my attention deficit has gotten so bad that I started watching Family Guy on YouTube to avoid doing any work, then ten seconds later I got bored, grabbed my phone, and looked up "sexy cartoon porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 1 118