Health: Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised...

By Thorin - 25/01/2010 21:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 435

You deserved it 6 676

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Same thing different taste

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 986

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 077

You deserved it 34 033

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 186

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 988

You deserved it 8 240

By shaverguy - 15/06/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 787

You deserved it 13 576

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 04:26 - United States

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 994

You deserved it 6 352

By scaryhairy - 04/11/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 001

You deserved it 5 185

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 488

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 00:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 156

You deserved it 5 988

Snowflake

By Bullocks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Rochester

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 4 535

CYNNER 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 1:40

Misadvertisement. you should sue

JESUSlives4MUSIC 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 1:38

you must feel proud. I know I would

Comments

DonkeyDelight 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 0:26

Proud of you xxx

frikkinhannah 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 0:32

107 FTW!

kaaht 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 0:46

I cut myself in purpose. that must suck.

Boy_Flow 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 7:20

wow..TMI

brainiac94 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 3:26

uhhh that's more of an MLIA

Boy_Flow 0

Monday 1 February 2010 20:31

i have no idea what MLIA is....

aznkillah516 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 4:46

rofl

Acceleration995 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 6:46

*Like* :)

OmgiLove 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 3:06

Well ALL razors are going to cut if you're not gentle. For goodness sake it has a blade. YDI. Tottally. But FYL for buying an over priced razor.

coffeeicecream 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 5:37

accidental emo!

SHINeeAes 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 14:22

Lmfao. Chyeahs man ~ I don't think i would of ever tried doing what you did :L

failzisawesome 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 22:40

what the **** man

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 486

You deserved it 38 932

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

The Top

Today, I joined my boyfriend at a work conference out of state. One of the other conference-goers struck up a conversation and I obliged. Apparently, I was too nice. He followed me into the hotel lobby and openly watched me go back to my hotel room, making sure to count the room numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 801

You deserved it 1 478

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 369

You deserved it 3 289

Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 504

You deserved it 334

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 060

You deserved it 69 445

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 30 369

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 904

You deserved it 37 488

Same thing different taste

Put it away

Let it bleed

Snowflake

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