Intimacy: Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside...

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 07:37 - United States

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 15 035

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 464

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 461

You deserved it 2 485

By Puppy problems - 27/10/2013 01:23 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 556

You deserved it 4 532

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 158

You deserved it 5 397

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 4 846

By foops - 02/02/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 903

You deserved it 11 622

You wanker

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 306

You deserved it 87 322

By robertsonjimmy - 14/06/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 613

You deserved it 12 810

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 138

You deserved it 7 479

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 27 October 2010 16:27

A golden vibrator retriever

iamchuck 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 16:16

Man's best friend found woman's best friend.

Comments

CantTouchThat 29

Tuesday 25 April 2017 14:14

Doggy want to play?!?!

Keywords

Toxic Family Miscellaneous Food Love Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Kids Awkward Drugs Music Crush Lonely Relatable Wanker Intimacy Animals Cats Coworkers Work Embarrassing Sleep Transportation Airplanes Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, where I loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy, and settled in to enjoy the movie. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 227

You deserved it 8 406

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 771

You deserved it 103 435

The Top

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I'd just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said, "You don't have to lie, some people just aren't cut out for college. There's no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 842

You deserved it 2 957

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 993

You deserved it 2 349

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 978

Today, my dad all but told me that he ignores me and my advice on purpose, just so he can yell at me for pestering him when I get annoyed, and being ignored really ticks me off. Then my mom, who is the more level-headed one, didn't even scold him for it. This is why I have acute self-esteem issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 210

Today, at work, a customer told me how unprofessional my piercing made me look, and insisted that someone else wait on his table. It's not a piercing, it's a mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 460

You deserved it 1 727

Today, while preparing for our holiday, I realised I will have my period that week. My husband is now sulking because he thinks I’ll be so grumpy, I’ll ruin the holiday. I’ve had to talk him out of cancelling our flight twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 346

Same thing different taste

Freakout

You wanker

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