Miscellaneous: Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront...

By VMV - 01/02/2013 23:53 - Spain - Abrera

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 173

You deserved it 9 429

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By Anonymous - 20/03/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 402

You deserved it 3 657

By s3xygrandpa - 06/11/2013 19:09 - United States - Palm Harbor

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 730

You deserved it 5 122

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 629

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 392

By facepalm - 14/06/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 965

You deserved it 35 786

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 039

You deserved it 5 053

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 9 409

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 172

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 203

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:25

Good idea, flee and leave them for the next poor sucker to deal with.

Miss_Attitude96 24

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:32

I don't understand how hard it is for people to flush the toilet. Seriously, I am a junior in high school and there are disgusting girls that leave their used pads and tampons in the toilets. It's gross.

Comments

eaglerob 20

Saturday 2 February 2013 15:16

Soooo...no sex in bathrooms for you?

Born2die 11

Saturday 2 February 2013 15:53

wait... girls poop?

Hammer01 8

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:01

You really need Depends Pull ups when you go out. Problem solved.

aimeesea75 16

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:18

Could have done it in a plastic bag

JiggyBoo123 11

Saturday 2 February 2013 16:18

I understand, OP. I have a minor fear of public bathrooms, and a crippling fear of porta-johns. Seriously, porta-potties are just GUH. it's a bathroom full of shit from previous people sitting in the middle of OUTSIDE. I don't know how anybody can use one of those things. I once walked into one of those and saw a decapitated PENIS lying on the floor of it. That was probably the last time I ever comfortably walked into a porta-potty without preparing for the worst. Public bathrooms in stores and such are another thing, but using them is still hella uncomfortable. I always worry about splashing water and "OH GOD WHERE HAS THIS WATER BEEN OH GOD IT'S TOUCHING ME OMG OMG OMG." Then I just /can't/ use bathrooms at school. First, they make you call a DA at school to take you there (so somebody's LISTENING to you pee), then if you take "too long" you could get in trouble for skipping class. I never know how long is "too long" to pee, so I just don't go. It's scary. ...TMI, sorry, but still. Sorry about that, OP. I know what this situation is like (been in a similar one myself) and it really blows. FYL.

ksks1234 33

Saturday 2 February 2013 18:03

So, the penis lost his head?

Xxblackice 13

Saturday 2 February 2013 23:59

I don't know but when I was working the cornfields of Nebraska in a 120 degree weather I'm and had to use the port a potty I'm glad it was just small I don't know what I would have done if I found decapitated penis

DarkskyFML 5

Sunday 3 February 2013 7:31

A crippling fear of Porta Potties? Funniest thing I have read in a while. I am picturing you laying on the ground sobbing and wretching at the sight of a Porta Potty.

onorexveritas 23

Saturday 2 February 2013 17:02

could've gone into the other stall, why didn't I go into the other stall? oh my eyes!

onorexveritas 23

Saturday 2 February 2013 17:04

I've seen some nasty diarrhea toilets before so I feel your pain... I don't know why people think covering it with a load of toilet paper fixes it better than flushing

Old_Iron_Sides 6

Saturday 2 February 2013 17:30

If it's that much of a problem to you, you should flush before you lift the seat.

Jaguar1996 3

Saturday 2 February 2013 17:53

You cried wow dude.. that's pathetic

Durdanya 13

Saturday 2 February 2013 18:24

I feel your pain, OP! You're not overreacting at all; public washrooms are an insanely unhygienic place. I bet the owner of the crap didn't wash their hands. Feel better, OP!