Miscellaneous: Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront...

By VMV - 01/02/2013 23:53 - Spain - Abrera

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 173

You deserved it 9 429

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By Anonymous - 20/03/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 402

You deserved it 3 657

By s3xygrandpa - 06/11/2013 19:09 - United States - Palm Harbor

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 730

You deserved it 5 122

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 16:00

Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 629

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 392

By facepalm - 14/06/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 965

You deserved it 35 786

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 039

You deserved it 5 053

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 9 409

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 172

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 203

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:25

Good idea, flee and leave them for the next poor sucker to deal with.

Miss_Attitude96 24

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:32

I don't understand how hard it is for people to flush the toilet. Seriously, I am a junior in high school and there are disgusting girls that leave their used pads and tampons in the toilets. It's gross.

Comments

StormyZero 11

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:49

Is seeing poop really a reason to cry and pee your pants?

SApprentice 34

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:51

You poor thing. I'm guessing that you have paruresis? It can be really difficult to work through. Maybe you can get your significant other or a very close, open minded friend to help wean you into it? When I was a kid I could only pee at home. Only. I'd go more than twenty hours without going, as much as thirty sometimes if I had to, because there was no way I was peeing anywhere else. Even at home, I was not able to hear anybody else, or even think that they were awake, or I would lock down. My bestfriend started dragging me into deserted public restrooms and would sit outside the stall quietly chatting to me and not letting me leave until I would go, even if it took an hour. She became this super supportive, kind hearted little terror, the bane of my urinating existence. The weird thing is that it actually worked. Now, I can usually use a public restroom, but I still know that freaking horror. I know it, and I feel bad for you, OP. Good luck.

btstig 11

Saturday 2 February 2013 8:18

There seems to be a freaking syndrome for everything now. Grow the eff up y'all. Carry wet wipes or Lysol wipes and get over the shit.

bach2121 13

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:56

Don't blame u for having that phobia in the first place

lexxiii 17

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:57

Where is OP? I've been in A LOT of public bathrooms in many different states in the US and never have I came across a bathroom where you had to open the toilet lid; they didn't even have a lid on them. Am I going crazy or does anyone else agree?

jamnglamgirlie 17

Saturday 2 February 2013 5:58

That's why I always flush before I lift the lid

SApprentice 34

Saturday 2 February 2013 6:06

That's a lot of wasted water.

283leis 8

Saturday 2 February 2013 6:05

The lid was closed for a reason. You NEVER use a toilet if the lid is down... And why the heck are females washrooms so dirty? It's even worse when you find piss on the seat. I will never understand how's a girl gets pee on the seat, and I am a girl

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 2 February 2013 6:27

It's the "hover" technique. A female friend of mine described that particular "germ avoidance" technique to me.

shiarrael 13

Saturday 2 February 2013 17:41

It's because they don't sit down. They hover over the seat, which leads to urine landing just about everywhere except where it should be. It's disgusting and really unnecessary, especially in places where the bathrooms are cleaned regularly.

hellobobismyname 24

Saturday 2 February 2013 6:06

People are disgusting. Working as a waitress I had to clean up after someone who took a shit and missed the bowl. It was right at the back end of the toilet... I can sympathize with OP. I walk around public washrooms looking at all the stalls before I choose one and I've seen period blood sprayed on walls, and other things. But next time you see a public toilet with the seat down, it's best to keep it closed and go somewhere else because obviously somebody was trying to hide their mess.

mansen 15

Saturday 2 February 2013 7:10

oh god, you just brought back horrible flashbacks to my waitressing days. The absolute worst thing I have ever encountered going in to clean a washroom was some fauvist wannabe decided to finger paint on the wall with their poo. I just..I just cannot comprehend what compels someone to do that.